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Sabrina Sklute's avatar

I have been following you for about a year now, but due to cancer/chemo brain can't recall how to send you a message or post. Nor where to find that info (something about Sunday?) Anyways, I wanted to share how I used BHDM with a prior partner of 8yrs, now a good friend. Something he always did, jokingly, now irks me due to learning about rhetoric, so I finally shared with him. He knows about BHDM because I shared with him when I got on the apps about 3 months ago. Whenever I ask a favor of him, he always says Yes, but it'll cost you. The cost is a kiss or a hug or combo, and often the amount increases according to the size of the favor. Now tho, it annoys me, because of the (unintentional) rhetoric. (I think its called Quid Pro Quo?) I explained to him by equating to a man paying for sex. Basically he is giving me something in exchange for a physical benefit to him. I told him that frankly, it makes me feel like a hooker and makes me cringe. He was shocked, and apologetic, and said that was not his intention at all. I assured him that I knew that, but asked him to please stop (he will), and explained that love and friendship should never be transactional. He understood and agreed. I also told him to be mindful of that in his future interactions with women, because I want him to be successful in a new relationship going forward. (My cancer is terminal, which i am at peace with, but he has been here for me every step of the way, so I am grateful for his friendship, want to help him move forward after I am gone). Anyways - I was proud of myself for speaking up, and taught an old dog (he is 67) a new trick, thanks to BHDM. Thank you 😊

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Lucy's avatar

I have the same issue. Comments are always disabled even though something posted 11 hours ago (its morning here now) had 350 comments so some people must be able to comment. If comments are only being turned on at 11pm then people from UK are excluded as i cant stay up all night to comment and you are not allowed to message the admins. it seems very unfair to not be allowed to comment with no explanation. I have lots to contribute that I am sure other people might find useful or amusing etc. It feels unfair to just be excluded fro the conversation from day 1 of joining the group. I have never been to the group and commenting has been allowed so I am confused as to whether i am personally blocked or they just dont turn comments on till Uk night time

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