The timing of this lockout is nothing short of suspicious. I teach digital literacy and do a lot of reading about their business dealings and alliances, and not to sound conspiracy-heavy, but it would surprise me zero-percent if someone at Facebook knew someone at hinge or bumble or wherever, where the BHDM type of decisiveness crushes their lone goal: not to help people find partners, but to make money.
ETA: I was compelled to research and remembered that 1) Facebook Dating is a function of the platform now and 2) Meta has worked with Match Group in the past, which is the parent company of Tinder.
Facebook is very much aware of their large groups with heavy traffic, and their business partnerships, both known and unknown (some partnerships I only learned about through once-redacted court documents), are their bread and butter. I really don’t think it’s far-fetched to believe the lockout is intentional and specifically timed to the release of your book.
I don't think this is related to your content AT ALL.
Check any other ("harmless") groups you are in - I'm in a veggie group, and a "recycling before landfill" group and they are both in the same situation.
I hope you're right, but their initial messaging (which, granted, is an AI bot) is suggesting it's due to my content. These are the three options they gave me:
Fraud, Scams, and Deceptive Practices: One of the primary access blocks on your account is related to activity flagged as potentially deceptive or involving fraudulent behavior.
Content or Activity Not Allowed: There are multiple instances where content shared or activity performed on your profile was found to be in violation of our Community Standards. This is a broad category that covers a variety of policy violations, such as spam or sharing prohibited content.
Group Activity Feature Limits: Because of the activity mentioned above, your account has been limited in its ability to interact with groups. This includes restrictions on joining groups, posting, commenting, and managing member lists.
They told me it's not number 3, and I don't think it's number 1 because I get alerts for those things and I didn't receive any.
Sadly it maybe because someone reported it as well as any of the things.. if someone reports post after post after post it can trigger the group.. even if nothing was actually wrong in any of the posts.
I agree. It almost feels like a bunch of butthurt incels got together and mass reported a post. Not sure what of the content could've been in violation or not allowed, but so much of it is run by algorithms and bots these days that true discernment is lacking.
This was my immediate thought: some angry incels at work. There is another group that I'm a part of, and a lot of the women there mention this group, and I really wish they would not do it because there are soooo many red pill men in the group. I have slowed down with my use of the page now because of the countless men in the group. Every time a woman mentions the Haystack in the group, I wince because of the number of men who can see the comments.
Angry incels are one possibility, but my first thought on these lines was about the angry women who’ve been banned for breaking group rules and/or one of the angry wannabe-Jennies who have started ridiculous fake BHDM groups where they alternate between extremely bad advice based on fundamental misunderstandings of BHDM and rage-filled posts complaining about how they can’t argue with us ad infinitum bc Jennie turns off comments. Some of those women are incredibly vindictive - it’s basically what got them kicked out to begin with. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the internet version of girl-on-feminist violence. Anti-feminist pick-mes tend to be more aggressive than the men they want to f*^/protect bc it’s personal to them.
Horrifying, infuriating, and I'm so very sorry. I think your reach will continue to grow, regardless, but this makes me livid, especially given the timing.
I wonder if it could be related to the fake BHDM pages getting reported as frauds (maybe with more frequency since your book dropped), and your legit page is getting pulled into that. I've heard of that happening because bots can't distinguish between what's real and what isn't. If only there was a human person they could talk to...🙄
I got sucked into one of the fake ones but thankfully made only one comment. I started seeing a lot of male names. I deleted that comment shortly after realizing I wasn't in the correct group.
Meta’s AI moderation has shifted toward "silent" flagging for "Fraud and Deceptive Practices." They now don't often send a notification for specific posts in this category because they don't want to tip off actual scammers on which keywords triggered the bot.
I'm sure you know this but:
Go to Settings & Privacy > Help & Support > Support Inbox.
Look for "Violations" or "Other."
This is where the actual "Fraud" or "Deceptive Practice" flags usually hide.
If you pay for Meta Verified, use the chat support immediately.
They can manually check if the 90-day block was a "false positive" by AI.
I don't think it is anything real, that you can pinpoint that you or any member has done or said. I had a couple of warnings somehow associated with selling things (I wasn't, never had), and then my account was taken down for alleged breaches of community standards - which standard or how, they never said. I'm an old woman in a retirement home, for goodness' sake! I do love and support. It's Facebook, going HAL, not us.
Wondering if promoting the book, or book signings would be considered problematic content? It shouldn’t be! 😤But maybe FB wants you to buy ad space, rather than use your own group for promotion. Just a thought. Maybe HC will know more.
Jennie, I wonder if the fact that you post the welcome member thing almost every day is considered spam by them? I’m in some other groups and there are regular welcome member type posts, but it’s more like maybe once a week or once a month. I’m not exactly sure cause I don’t pay close attention. But part of that number two language that they’re saying is something about spam. Personally, I think it would be ridiculous if that was the thing. In fact, the whole thing is ridiculous anyway. I’m just wondering if it’s that, or if you have a disgruntled member who has been reporting something about the posts.
Both your groups, skewing progressive, are a threat to Meta's partners. Z is part of the billionaire class, and they are loyal to each other. That very exclusive club is angling to control EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY. I don't think it's a bug or a controversial post -- BHDM itself is an existential threat to that class.
Came here to say exactly this. The timing is stunning. And in the broader sense - Powerful women are very scary to these men and their business model of keeping people afraid and quiet.
May they get what they deserve, soon and fully. I'm so sorry this is happening! ❤️ Im staying tuned and will continue to promote this work all over Facebook.
If they are playing dirty, trying to limit your voice, I wonder how FB will respond, if you communicate widely during your book tour, on podcasts, etc what is going on. Don’t poke the witches!
I was compelled to research and remembered that 1) Facebook Dating is a function of the platform now and 2) Meta has worked with Match Group in the past, which is the parent company of Tinder.
I was thinking it might be the people behind this current administration.. it wouldn't surprise me to hear at some point some whistleblower say how they made a team that targets feminist liberal groups and such...
I am very shocked. The FB group is very well administered and you don’t see there any of the shocking or disrespectful content or comments you see sometimes in many other FB groups. So the reason is else. And I’m very shocked as well that a single entity can take down without any explanation a group with so many followers. Meta has too much power and this is creating a frightening and unhealthy position. This is censorship, big brother is watching you. And finally the most shocking part is that the things that really should be blocked like ads for those little girls alike dolls with holes are allowed! I came across them twice and meta replied no problem with the content. I reported once a kitten that was mixed in a blender and I couldn’t sleep for days after that and they said not against their policies! I considered closing my FB account but then I would miss the benefits of groups like this one. They should not have the monopoly though. This is worrying.
I think it's far more likely that the increased attention from the book launch has caused some red pill/manosphere group(s) to send out a call to action to report the BHDM fb group en masse. Also any of kind generic "men do/think/act like ______" statement can get auto flagged as "hate speech"...same deal with "I blocked to burn him" being read as a threat of violence.
I was reading a post in another group about a woman who was ghosted for telling her date she background checked him. The general consensus was that everybody does it, but it’s ick to say so.
A man ranted about groups such as Are We Dating the Same Guy and Tea. He stated he had been falsely accused and his girlfriend of 18 months broke up with him due to these groups. He proposed making a list of women who belong to these groups and calling it the “No Date List”.
I thought, “Yes, please, let the trash take itself out”. Women helping other women is a good thing, especially when we cannot rely on law and order to protect us. Any person who has a problem with that who self selects themselves out is saving everyone time.
Creating a new dating platform would achieve a similar goal of self eliminating misogynistic daters. Maybe the group could move there - the profits from the dating site could be used to manage the group for free.
This would not surprise me. I see people in Reddit groups who are constantly posting negative things about BHDM, and there are women in the FB group whose sole purpose is to report on its activities & post our comments to other groups. It’s disheartening to say the least.
It seems to be either a sabotage of disgruntled BHDM-ers, or a Meta sabotage.
This is such weird behaviour. What’s the point of doing that? I mean I get it (kinda) when fragile men are freaking out about women telling each other to not settle for them but why are other women so invested in tearing this down? Why do they care if other women have different standards from them? If they’re so obsessed with these „poor“ men, they should be glad we’re not competing with them. We don’t want them, they can have them!
So, I’ve observed a couple of things which may help with the “why.”
Those women say BHDM is a cult, that Jennie is controlling for locking down comments, and that we are all too harsh & cruel with men. I think these women are just pickme’s and are really unhappy people. They live to destroy (am I being too dark?)
Some women on Reddit love BHDM concepts, but they also insist on 1st date dinners, and have other hurdles men have to clear before dating them. They’re essentially not dating, think men are sh*t, and they encourage women to avoid men at all costs. These women are smart (IMO) and their issues with BHDM are really just disagreement about the coffee dates. I don’t think they’re our saboteurs.
Men posing as women in our FB group? I’m sure we have some. 😠
I have seen a few women laughing at serious comments. I have often wondered if they were men posing as women, because a genuine woman just wouldn't laugh at the types of things we are taking seriously.
The only reason I never did is that there's no definite proof that it's a man -on the occasions I'd seen it happen. It could be that the woman is just a little odd or has had a different experience to the comment that was made, or that it was an accidental emoji slip. I don't want to get a genuine woman banned for making a mistake. It's just something I have often observed, but without proof; I have been reluctant to report it.
This is awful especially while launching the book.
I know another group owner who owns a lot of groups on Facebook has been really struggling with their restrictions and making safe places for women. They have been on pause for well over a month due to this across all their groups.
She mentions how this does look and feel targeted to be against women’s safety.
Yes, all the AWDTSG groups have been under fire for years, and the target of mass-reporting by angry men. It’s been super stressful for the admins, and frankly for all women who want to stay safe!
I’ve seen the same. Women I follow who speak up against men’s behaviour, keep disappearing. Upon returning, they all say their account had been suspended and most don’t appear to know why.
I was in one for the group in Melbourne, Australia. Many men were complaining and asking for Admin to shut the page down. It's been on pause for the last 3 or so months. Angry, guilty men fear exposure and not being able to control it.
I'm part of several of those groups. Not only to protect me if I meet someone, but also to protect others from the abusive, covert narcissistic ex. It's so sad how these man children and pick me women are getting their panties ina twist. But if the roles were reversed, oh how men would be lauded for their efforts! The patriarchy, ugh, it's sickening.
I mean it is healthier than Facebook. But that’s a very low bar to clear…
Many women have had threats made against them and there’s lots of men spewing hate but despite reporting Substack didn’t do anything. So a few weeks ago lots of creators started protesting, so I’m not sure if Substack finally listened because I’m not on here that often. But it was a whole thing unfortunately…
This is reprehensible. I would question whether the meme about the cliff got reported as advocating or calling for violence or something. I really hope they get it corrected, because the FB group is one of my favorite "places" to hang out!
Hmmm, I wonder. That seems so mild, though, my cliff meme, compared to the content The Onion and other humor outlets post. Interesting, though . . . it hadn't occurred to me that it could be that, but maybe?
I wouldn't be shocked if there were a group of people just waiting for anything to report, and then they did it en masse. The sad reality is, you don't make the impact you're making without angering a lot of people who stand to lose some of their power and control by your work. I think the meme was totally mild, and clearly, fb allows all sorts of outrageous, offense, and even dangerous content every single day. That said, you are almost certainly a target of many groups, and who knows, maybe even MZ is watching and not pleased by having women learn about rhetoric. ;-)
I doubt this - but I wouldn't be surprised if there are ringers false-reporting you on any post. My first thought was "sabotage". I'm so sorry this happened to you! Don't get me started on FB's "business model" - zero transparency, zero help to admins. And you were so smart to see this coming and build an email list that is under your control. Hang in there and don't forget that we're behind you!
You did say you started this project to keep women safe. I don't think they want that. You don't stray from that mission; The Onion has far more diverse focus.
AI does not recognize humor. The meme that got my page deleted was a joke. I started getting auto messages from Facebook about su1cide and other bizarre topics.
This is outrageous. If there is any way for us to sign a petition, tag on Insta, anything that will draw attention and reverse this action, let us know! This makes me itch for a Facebookgate similar to our Bumblegate...
I'm exploring that now, and I will follow up if necessary, thank you! I'm hoping that since HarperCollins is working on it they'll actually get the attention of Meta, so I want to give that a bit of time before we launch any kind of collective action.
I am so sorry. Thank you for telling us, and I’m so glad you always tell everyone to join this page, so that hopefully most of us are either already here or will be shortly.
Thank you for the info & so sorry you are dealing with this! I’m thankful you have Harper Collins fighting along side you & hope it’s resolved quickly & easily.
I suspect it’s due to the group’s increasing presence from your book & the rising number of women wisely using BHDM. It’s resulting in more upset, unmatched, undatable men being more vocal about the group & perhaps trying to lock you out of the account. It’s happened with other groups (are we dating the same guy) that unmask these same types of guys.
The first thing that comes to mind is someone maliciously reported you to Meta. They ban and restrict without question. I know other people this has happened to and frankly, the survival of the group on FB doesn't look good.
Unless it’s men posting degrading, misogynistic, objectifying, sexualised or violent content. Those you can report all you want and they never get banned 🙄
Exactly! I’ve reported SO MANY horrifying things men have said on FB - none have been stopped. I’ve even reported threats to my person (doxxing) - nada. Zilch.
For what it's worth, Jennie - if you were able to open another community/membership platform outside of Facebook, I think many of us would join, even for a small membership fee (heck I would even donate so women who can't pay could join just to keep it accessible). There are platforms that allow you to do so with social media like features. It may not be possible but a whole lot of women who need you and Meta shouldn't stand in the way!
💯 to all of that. I don't have kids and I'm not dating, but I definitely want to pay it forward for other women to avoid some of the life experiences I've had
Circle is a great app. Facebook-ish in presentation, but totally private. Downside is it is a paid community program. But it is lovely to be in community with people and not deal with the meta-manosphere.
I'm mostly on Threads these days, and I just want you to know how satisfying it is to see Haystackers there. People post questions about what men say on dating apps, and the comment sections are flooded with women saying, "He's looking for a trad wife (or whatever the issue is). You need Burned Haystack Dating Method!" I love the community we have, and the reach is far!
I know this doesn't help with this Facebook issue, but I just wanted to say thank you and throw some encouragement your way.
This is suspicious. I’m in groups with 1 million+ without issues. If you have any friends in high places, now is the time to call on them to help fix this. And make sure to let us know if we can advocate in any way.
I'm so sorry this happened and it's just crazy, that it's so difficult to create a safe space for women. Maybe this means that the group has to find another platform, if this continues. The group is the reason I check in at FB every day, I would be so sad if it was no longer possible.
I would be sad because it's been so key in building Jennie's audience (who NEED CDA). And it's made me a better communicator in every area of my life. But. It's the only thing keeping me on FB, and FB feels less and less safe to me. And it's not just the TX woman and her daughter whose Messenger thread on her contemplated options for an abortion out of state were reported to law enforcement by FB. I see their bias loud and clear.
The timing of this lockout is nothing short of suspicious. I teach digital literacy and do a lot of reading about their business dealings and alliances, and not to sound conspiracy-heavy, but it would surprise me zero-percent if someone at Facebook knew someone at hinge or bumble or wherever, where the BHDM type of decisiveness crushes their lone goal: not to help people find partners, but to make money.
ETA: I was compelled to research and remembered that 1) Facebook Dating is a function of the platform now and 2) Meta has worked with Match Group in the past, which is the parent company of Tinder.
I have to admit this crossed my mind as well. I posted *nothing* controversial at all this morning.
Facebook is very much aware of their large groups with heavy traffic, and their business partnerships, both known and unknown (some partnerships I only learned about through once-redacted court documents), are their bread and butter. I really don’t think it’s far-fetched to believe the lockout is intentional and specifically timed to the release of your book.
Yes, looks like I'm going to buy a few more books to drop off in my community.
The “Are We Dating the Same Guy” pages are largely on pause as well. FYI.
They let the AI do more after laying off employees.
Half of my feed is in French for zero discernable reason amd with no translate option. Tbese are posts by people who do not post in French.
There are bugs galore.
Bots are put en force as well.
I don't think this is related to your content AT ALL.
Check any other ("harmless") groups you are in - I'm in a veggie group, and a "recycling before landfill" group and they are both in the same situation.
I would suspect bug.
I hope you're right, but their initial messaging (which, granted, is an AI bot) is suggesting it's due to my content. These are the three options they gave me:
Fraud, Scams, and Deceptive Practices: One of the primary access blocks on your account is related to activity flagged as potentially deceptive or involving fraudulent behavior.
Content or Activity Not Allowed: There are multiple instances where content shared or activity performed on your profile was found to be in violation of our Community Standards. This is a broad category that covers a variety of policy violations, such as spam or sharing prohibited content.
Group Activity Feature Limits: Because of the activity mentioned above, your account has been limited in its ability to interact with groups. This includes restrictions on joining groups, posting, commenting, and managing member lists.
They told me it's not number 3, and I don't think it's number 1 because I get alerts for those things and I didn't receive any.
Sadly it maybe because someone reported it as well as any of the things.. if someone reports post after post after post it can trigger the group.. even if nothing was actually wrong in any of the posts.
I agree. It almost feels like a bunch of butthurt incels got together and mass reported a post. Not sure what of the content could've been in violation or not allowed, but so much of it is run by algorithms and bots these days that true discernment is lacking.
This was my immediate thought: some angry incels at work. There is another group that I'm a part of, and a lot of the women there mention this group, and I really wish they would not do it because there are soooo many red pill men in the group. I have slowed down with my use of the page now because of the countless men in the group. Every time a woman mentions the Haystack in the group, I wince because of the number of men who can see the comments.
Angry incels are one possibility, but my first thought on these lines was about the angry women who’ve been banned for breaking group rules and/or one of the angry wannabe-Jennies who have started ridiculous fake BHDM groups where they alternate between extremely bad advice based on fundamental misunderstandings of BHDM and rage-filled posts complaining about how they can’t argue with us ad infinitum bc Jennie turns off comments. Some of those women are incredibly vindictive - it’s basically what got them kicked out to begin with. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the internet version of girl-on-feminist violence. Anti-feminist pick-mes tend to be more aggressive than the men they want to f*^/protect bc it’s personal to them.
This is what I was thinking - someone has reported the group
Horrifying, infuriating, and I'm so very sorry. I think your reach will continue to grow, regardless, but this makes me livid, especially given the timing.
I wonder if it could be related to the fake BHDM pages getting reported as frauds (maybe with more frequency since your book dropped), and your legit page is getting pulled into that. I've heard of that happening because bots can't distinguish between what's real and what isn't. If only there was a human person they could talk to...🙄
And the hateful content in those Fake BHDM groups would be a motive. Why can we just celebrate Jennie's success?
That crossed my mind.
I got sucked into one of the fake ones but thankfully made only one comment. I started seeing a lot of male names. I deleted that comment shortly after realizing I wasn't in the correct group.
Meta’s AI moderation has shifted toward "silent" flagging for "Fraud and Deceptive Practices." They now don't often send a notification for specific posts in this category because they don't want to tip off actual scammers on which keywords triggered the bot.
I'm sure you know this but:
Go to Settings & Privacy > Help & Support > Support Inbox.
Look for "Violations" or "Other."
This is where the actual "Fraud" or "Deceptive Practice" flags usually hide.
If you pay for Meta Verified, use the chat support immediately.
They can manually check if the 90-day block was a "false positive" by AI.
They locked me out of the support inbox too 😢
Good lord!
I don't think it is anything real, that you can pinpoint that you or any member has done or said. I had a couple of warnings somehow associated with selling things (I wasn't, never had), and then my account was taken down for alleged breaches of community standards - which standard or how, they never said. I'm an old woman in a retirement home, for goodness' sake! I do love and support. It's Facebook, going HAL, not us.
Wondering if promoting the book, or book signings would be considered problematic content? It shouldn’t be! 😤But maybe FB wants you to buy ad space, rather than use your own group for promotion. Just a thought. Maybe HC will know more.
Jennie, I wonder if the fact that you post the welcome member thing almost every day is considered spam by them? I’m in some other groups and there are regular welcome member type posts, but it’s more like maybe once a week or once a month. I’m not exactly sure cause I don’t pay close attention. But part of that number two language that they’re saying is something about spam. Personally, I think it would be ridiculous if that was the thing. In fact, the whole thing is ridiculous anyway. I’m just wondering if it’s that, or if you have a disgruntled member who has been reporting something about the posts.
Both your groups, skewing progressive, are a threat to Meta's partners. Z is part of the billionaire class, and they are loyal to each other. That very exclusive club is angling to control EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY. I don't think it's a bug or a controversial post -- BHDM itself is an existential threat to that class.
Came here to say exactly this. The timing is stunning. And in the broader sense - Powerful women are very scary to these men and their business model of keeping people afraid and quiet.
exactly and precisely this.
That does make a lot of sense.
When it comes to the inner-workings of Facebook, the bugs are features.
Amen to that. It's been ROUGH lately.
May they get what they deserve, soon and fully. I'm so sorry this is happening! ❤️ Im staying tuned and will continue to promote this work all over Facebook.
I hope it's a bug!
An article on your book came out in the Guardian this morning. Maybe it’s that you’re getting more attention?
If they are playing dirty, trying to limit your voice, I wonder how FB will respond, if you communicate widely during your book tour, on podcasts, etc what is going on. Don’t poke the witches!
I was compelled to research and remembered that 1) Facebook Dating is a function of the platform now and 2) Meta has worked with Match Group in the past, which is the parent company of Tinder.
I was thinking it might be the people behind this current administration.. it wouldn't surprise me to hear at some point some whistleblower say how they made a team that targets feminist liberal groups and such...
I am very shocked. The FB group is very well administered and you don’t see there any of the shocking or disrespectful content or comments you see sometimes in many other FB groups. So the reason is else. And I’m very shocked as well that a single entity can take down without any explanation a group with so many followers. Meta has too much power and this is creating a frightening and unhealthy position. This is censorship, big brother is watching you. And finally the most shocking part is that the things that really should be blocked like ads for those little girls alike dolls with holes are allowed! I came across them twice and meta replied no problem with the content. I reported once a kitten that was mixed in a blender and I couldn’t sleep for days after that and they said not against their policies! I considered closing my FB account but then I would miss the benefits of groups like this one. They should not have the monopoly though. This is worrying.
There's a reason the EU is trying to uncouple itself from all American billionaire-led businesses (Meta/Whatsapp, Visa & Mastercard, etc.) right now.
100% agree, this was a targeted move, likely had been in the works for a long time now
I think it's far more likely that the increased attention from the book launch has caused some red pill/manosphere group(s) to send out a call to action to report the BHDM fb group en masse. Also any of kind generic "men do/think/act like ______" statement can get auto flagged as "hate speech"...same deal with "I blocked to burn him" being read as a threat of violence.
True. There's a reason a lot of groups I was in used M3n or mən instead of the actual word, to avoid the AI censors.
Frightening and frustrating! 😡
Maybe we should start a dating site.
I was reading a post in another group about a woman who was ghosted for telling her date she background checked him. The general consensus was that everybody does it, but it’s ick to say so.
A man ranted about groups such as Are We Dating the Same Guy and Tea. He stated he had been falsely accused and his girlfriend of 18 months broke up with him due to these groups. He proposed making a list of women who belong to these groups and calling it the “No Date List”.
I thought, “Yes, please, let the trash take itself out”. Women helping other women is a good thing, especially when we cannot rely on law and order to protect us. Any person who has a problem with that who self selects themselves out is saving everyone time.
Creating a new dating platform would achieve a similar goal of self eliminating misogynistic daters. Maybe the group could move there - the profits from the dating site could be used to manage the group for free.
And my mind immediately went to....
the men are trying to shut it down.
This would not surprise me. I see people in Reddit groups who are constantly posting negative things about BHDM, and there are women in the FB group whose sole purpose is to report on its activities & post our comments to other groups. It’s disheartening to say the least.
It seems to be either a sabotage of disgruntled BHDM-ers, or a Meta sabotage.
This is such weird behaviour. What’s the point of doing that? I mean I get it (kinda) when fragile men are freaking out about women telling each other to not settle for them but why are other women so invested in tearing this down? Why do they care if other women have different standards from them? If they’re so obsessed with these „poor“ men, they should be glad we’re not competing with them. We don’t want them, they can have them!
So, I’ve observed a couple of things which may help with the “why.”
Those women say BHDM is a cult, that Jennie is controlling for locking down comments, and that we are all too harsh & cruel with men. I think these women are just pickme’s and are really unhappy people. They live to destroy (am I being too dark?)
Some women on Reddit love BHDM concepts, but they also insist on 1st date dinners, and have other hurdles men have to clear before dating them. They’re essentially not dating, think men are sh*t, and they encourage women to avoid men at all costs. These women are smart (IMO) and their issues with BHDM are really just disagreement about the coffee dates. I don’t think they’re our saboteurs.
Men posing as women in our FB group? I’m sure we have some. 😠
I have seen a few women laughing at serious comments. I have often wondered if they were men posing as women, because a genuine woman just wouldn't laugh at the types of things we are taking seriously.
I report that so Jennie can take action.
The only reason I never did is that there's no definite proof that it's a man -on the occasions I'd seen it happen. It could be that the woman is just a little odd or has had a different experience to the comment that was made, or that it was an accidental emoji slip. I don't want to get a genuine woman banned for making a mistake. It's just something I have often observed, but without proof; I have been reluctant to report it.
*taking seriously.
That’s sad to hear. 😢
This is where my mind went too! “Under his eye”
This is awful especially while launching the book.
I know another group owner who owns a lot of groups on Facebook has been really struggling with their restrictions and making safe places for women. They have been on pause for well over a month due to this across all their groups.
She mentions how this does look and feel targeted to be against women’s safety.
Wow! Yikes, okay, this is super disturbing.
Yes, all the AWDTSG groups have been under fire for years, and the target of mass-reporting by angry men. It’s been super stressful for the admins, and frankly for all women who want to stay safe!
I’ve seen the same. Women I follow who speak up against men’s behaviour, keep disappearing. Upon returning, they all say their account had been suspended and most don’t appear to know why.
I was in one for the group in Melbourne, Australia. Many men were complaining and asking for Admin to shut the page down. It's been on pause for the last 3 or so months. Angry, guilty men fear exposure and not being able to control it.
The one in my area got disabled
I'm part of several of those groups. Not only to protect me if I meet someone, but also to protect others from the abusive, covert narcissistic ex. It's so sad how these man children and pick me women are getting their panties ina twist. But if the roles were reversed, oh how men would be lauded for their efforts! The patriarchy, ugh, it's sickening.
time for Bluesky BHDM?
Yes!
Substack itself is doing a terrible job at keeping women safe too!
Oh wow. I gave up FB years ago, and hoped Substack was healthier.
I mean it is healthier than Facebook. But that’s a very low bar to clear…
Many women have had threats made against them and there’s lots of men spewing hate but despite reporting Substack didn’t do anything. So a few weeks ago lots of creators started protesting, so I’m not sure if Substack finally listened because I’m not on here that often. But it was a whole thing unfortunately…
All media is a reflection of the people in society. Unhealthy people will creep into everything, eventually.
This is reprehensible. I would question whether the meme about the cliff got reported as advocating or calling for violence or something. I really hope they get it corrected, because the FB group is one of my favorite "places" to hang out!
Hmmm, I wonder. That seems so mild, though, my cliff meme, compared to the content The Onion and other humor outlets post. Interesting, though . . . it hadn't occurred to me that it could be that, but maybe?
I wouldn't be shocked if there were a group of people just waiting for anything to report, and then they did it en masse. The sad reality is, you don't make the impact you're making without angering a lot of people who stand to lose some of their power and control by your work. I think the meme was totally mild, and clearly, fb allows all sorts of outrageous, offense, and even dangerous content every single day. That said, you are almost certainly a target of many groups, and who knows, maybe even MZ is watching and not pleased by having women learn about rhetoric. ;-)
I doubt this - but I wouldn't be surprised if there are ringers false-reporting you on any post. My first thought was "sabotage". I'm so sorry this happened to you! Don't get me started on FB's "business model" - zero transparency, zero help to admins. And you were so smart to see this coming and build an email list that is under your control. Hang in there and don't forget that we're behind you!
You did say you started this project to keep women safe. I don't think they want that. You don't stray from that mission; The Onion has far more diverse focus.
I’m so very sorry! Hoping this will be resolved soon. 🔜 Thanks for all of your efforts on our behalf!❤️❤️❤️
AI does not recognize humor. The meme that got my page deleted was a joke. I started getting auto messages from Facebook about su1cide and other bizarre topics.
This is outrageous. If there is any way for us to sign a petition, tag on Insta, anything that will draw attention and reverse this action, let us know! This makes me itch for a Facebookgate similar to our Bumblegate...
I'm exploring that now, and I will follow up if necessary, thank you! I'm hoping that since HarperCollins is working on it they'll actually get the attention of Meta, so I want to give that a bit of time before we launch any kind of collective action.
Is your Instagram working okay?
When META took down my Facebook page, my Instagram was unaffected. It may have different algorithms and AI bots.
That’s good to know
Jenny mentioned in a video (that a friend posted on the fb group on her behalf) that so far her Instagram is still working.
Okay, good
I am so sorry. Thank you for telling us, and I’m so glad you always tell everyone to join this page, so that hopefully most of us are either already here or will be shortly.
I was thinking the same thing. I'm glad we have this space on Substack.
Thank you for the info & so sorry you are dealing with this! I’m thankful you have Harper Collins fighting along side you & hope it’s resolved quickly & easily.
I suspect it’s due to the group’s increasing presence from your book & the rising number of women wisely using BHDM. It’s resulting in more upset, unmatched, undatable men being more vocal about the group & perhaps trying to lock you out of the account. It’s happened with other groups (are we dating the same guy) that unmask these same types of guys.
I agree 💯.
That’s bullshit. I’m sorry. Our amazing, smart, and funny group will suffer from this arbitrary issue.
The first thing that comes to mind is someone maliciously reported you to Meta. They ban and restrict without question. I know other people this has happened to and frankly, the survival of the group on FB doesn't look good.
Right. This is all what my research suggests too.
Is your other moderator restricted as well?
Unless it’s men posting degrading, misogynistic, objectifying, sexualised or violent content. Those you can report all you want and they never get banned 🙄
Exactly! I’ve reported SO MANY horrifying things men have said on FB - none have been stopped. I’ve even reported threats to my person (doxxing) - nada. Zilch.
For what it's worth, Jennie - if you were able to open another community/membership platform outside of Facebook, I think many of us would join, even for a small membership fee (heck I would even donate so women who can't pay could join just to keep it accessible). There are platforms that allow you to do so with social media like features. It may not be possible but a whole lot of women who need you and Meta shouldn't stand in the way!
💯 to all of that. I don't have kids and I'm not dating, but I definitely want to pay it forward for other women to avoid some of the life experiences I've had
Circle is a great app. Facebook-ish in presentation, but totally private. Downside is it is a paid community program. But it is lovely to be in community with people and not deal with the meta-manosphere.
I agree! I'm in a Circle that I pay $2/mo for and it's totally worth it.
This is just another example of the patriarchal path this country is reverting to. Very scary/awful….
I'm mostly on Threads these days, and I just want you to know how satisfying it is to see Haystackers there. People post questions about what men say on dating apps, and the comment sections are flooded with women saying, "He's looking for a trad wife (or whatever the issue is). You need Burned Haystack Dating Method!" I love the community we have, and the reach is far!
I know this doesn't help with this Facebook issue, but I just wanted to say thank you and throw some encouragement your way.
On Threads, when I read a dating thread, I see several recommendations to BHDM. If I post a recommendation, I get responses from other Haystackers.
This is suspicious. I’m in groups with 1 million+ without issues. If you have any friends in high places, now is the time to call on them to help fix this. And make sure to let us know if we can advocate in any way.
Patriarchs shaking in their shoes! Keep on!
Love this.
This might be the death knell in my using FB. I was only going back there for this group really.
Me as well! This is outrageous.
I'm so sorry this happened and it's just crazy, that it's so difficult to create a safe space for women. Maybe this means that the group has to find another platform, if this continues. The group is the reason I check in at FB every day, I would be so sad if it was no longer possible.
I would be sad because it's been so key in building Jennie's audience (who NEED CDA). And it's made me a better communicator in every area of my life. But. It's the only thing keeping me on FB, and FB feels less and less safe to me. And it's not just the TX woman and her daughter whose Messenger thread on her contemplated options for an abortion out of state were reported to law enforcement by FB. I see their bias loud and clear.
That’s horrendous! Meta must employ key word searches to mine for that. A timely reminder to keep any sensitive topic to texts. Ugh!!