Thank you so much for the reality check. I recently saw clips from some trad wife event where they were saying that there should be one vote per family - by the husband - and it was making me twitch. If she wants to give up her vote and let her husband’s one vote count for them both then I say “more power to you, foolish person” but don’t be deciding that for me. I’m ok with them cutting their own voting numbers in half! But they can’t touch mine.
That is an excellent point. They will be cutting their voting choices in half, which is super beneficial for everyone outside the Christian nationalist and far right wing gestapo.
That's what the "save" act is all about. Cutting off voting from opponents of the christian nationalist republican movement. If you changed your name for marriage and that's not the name on your birth certificate , then you must prove through court documentation and a good chunk of expense that you have any right to vote.
“If she wants to give up her vote and let her husband’s one vote count for them both then I say “more power to you, foolish person” but don’t be deciding that for me. I’m ok with them cutting their own voting numbers in half! But they can’t touch mine.” Ha ha… right on!
I used to literally be a trad wife (and not only was one, but was aware that I was, and was proud of it, and blogged about it even). Like as recent as 7 years ago. I’ll be working on the unlearning and de-conditioning still for many years to come probably. I appreciate this kind of content because it aids me in stepping back and seeing it all more clearly from my still-new lens! (I’m divorced 4 years now and grateful BHDM has saved me from the dumpster fire that was my dating life initially afterward.)
I live 20 minutes from where this event was held and you can be certain that if I decide to date again, a texting question in the beginning stages will be "Did you attend Freedom con" and immediate B2B if he did!
Honestly I don't think we mock people enough. I'm not talking about mocking someone for their looks, but people who act stupidly should be called out. Thanks for doing the hard job!
I have a small FB group where we mock dating app profiles. These are the rules:
"Sharing screenshots of the low-effort, the meh, and the red flag wavers.
We're not here to make fun of men for their looks, ages, bodies, jobs, or characteristics and qualities that other women might be into. It's not about cheap shots or punching down.
We're expressing and commiserating our weary frustration with the way men on apps present themselves that reflects and reveals their laziness, poor choices, delusions and entitlement, and the patriarchy that enables and encourages them"
I started it before Jennie and BHDM came on my radar, which is why she and y'all are my soul sister and so validating!
The link worked for me so I've requested to join. The men with empty profiles other than "no drama" and "just ask" are why I don't bother with apps/men any more and I'm always down to laugh at them
OMG I could not love you and your work more. So funny. Of course they are a tiny fringe. All of these things are! The statistical comparison was so good to know, and one of the reasons I find "legacy media" completely useless of late. Carry on. Grateful for you.
From a strategic standpoint, I agree 100 percent that we must mock and belittle and show no fear when confronting proponents of this movement. And, I believe that we must take the movement very very seriously, and combat it (with this strategy) vigorously and at every opportunity. We must lead the younger women by example.
I believe that minimizing the threat this movement presents leads to complacency, and complacency is dangerous. Complacency has brought us to where we are today. The erosion of our rights as women is continuing and will continue into the future, because reversing a societal trend takes a lot of time and effort. I live in the South in a highly educated community where these ideas are openly advocated as politically and socially correct thinking - no longer considered particularly “fringe”. It is a terrifying development.
Do you have thoughts on who and what to do to loosen the grip on your neighbors? Humor, particularly gentle humor that recenters the ease and joy found in mutually supportive relationships, seems like a key component of defusing the potency of the All Gender Binary All the Time dream. I know the history of the U.S. southeast adds some layers to cultural conversation. I am writing some thoughts on how the most unifying explanation for the otherwise nonsensical collection of MAGA activities is the desire to feel better and more powerful than someone. I’m not sure how to make other worldviews more enticing than that desire.
I hear what you're saying, but the highly educated community of people you know who think this way are the ones who are financially able to live on one income. The economy will help push back on all of this. How many people can afford to pump out kid after kid with only one income, and live comfortably?
A bit too simplistic. We can stick with burned haystack issues, without making blanket statements about the bible (which consists of many, many things)--even though these disturbed men turn to it for their own twisted purposes.
Thanks for the size comparisons! We know how these men hate that.🤣 I wrote about hypermasculinity and real fatherhood for my weekly commentary in a local online journal and was slammed with comments from the usual suspects from down here in red FL.cI didn’t read them.
Thank you for the perspective and reality. When media highlights it, and algorithms glut our feeds with it, it looks more pervasive than it is. Meanwhile, my son was faceTiming me bicycling lessons with princess daughter on her rainbow bike, magical stick hunting, (because a special tree drops magical sticks) and soccer ball kicking on this Father's Day. And the neighborhood guys barbecuing, tossing their kids in the pool, playing catch with their kids. Look around and what do our eyes see?
OMG. This is so good. So, so good. Made me feel much better because I never thought of it this way. I am relatively old, and relatively social media illiterate, and know even less about copyright law. May I copy this on Facebook to my friends, or is that forbidden?
Thank you so much for the reality check. I recently saw clips from some trad wife event where they were saying that there should be one vote per family - by the husband - and it was making me twitch. If she wants to give up her vote and let her husband’s one vote count for them both then I say “more power to you, foolish person” but don’t be deciding that for me. I’m ok with them cutting their own voting numbers in half! But they can’t touch mine.
That is an excellent point. They will be cutting their voting choices in half, which is super beneficial for everyone outside the Christian nationalist and far right wing gestapo.
The one vote per household push is coming from the top. I believe it was in Project 2025.
That's what the "save" act is all about. Cutting off voting from opponents of the christian nationalist republican movement. If you changed your name for marriage and that's not the name on your birth certificate , then you must prove through court documentation and a good chunk of expense that you have any right to vote.
“If she wants to give up her vote and let her husband’s one vote count for them both then I say “more power to you, foolish person” but don’t be deciding that for me. I’m ok with them cutting their own voting numbers in half! But they can’t touch mine.” Ha ha… right on!
Thanks so much for these reassuring words. I really do need reminding to put things in perspective when I read these frightening headlines...
That's why I'm here. ❤️
Doing the lord's work (which is a high compliment from this agnostic)
Seriously.
I used to literally be a trad wife (and not only was one, but was aware that I was, and was proud of it, and blogged about it even). Like as recent as 7 years ago. I’ll be working on the unlearning and de-conditioning still for many years to come probably. I appreciate this kind of content because it aids me in stepping back and seeing it all more clearly from my still-new lens! (I’m divorced 4 years now and grateful BHDM has saved me from the dumpster fire that was my dating life initially afterward.)
You have my utmost respect -- I am so glad you got yourself out, and THANK YOU for being part of this community 🔥❤️
@Melanie: We're so happy you're here. The work to unlearn and decondition is worth it. Don't give up.
I live 20 minutes from where this event was held and you can be certain that if I decide to date again, a texting question in the beginning stages will be "Did you attend Freedom con" and immediate B2B if he did!
Honestly I don't think we mock people enough. I'm not talking about mocking someone for their looks, but people who act stupidly should be called out. Thanks for doing the hard job!
I have a small FB group where we mock dating app profiles. These are the rules:
"Sharing screenshots of the low-effort, the meh, and the red flag wavers.
We're not here to make fun of men for their looks, ages, bodies, jobs, or characteristics and qualities that other women might be into. It's not about cheap shots or punching down.
We're expressing and commiserating our weary frustration with the way men on apps present themselves that reflects and reveals their laziness, poor choices, delusions and entitlement, and the patriarchy that enables and encourages them"
I started it before Jennie and BHDM came on my radar, which is why she and y'all are my soul sister and so validating!
All Haystackers are welcome to join
https://fb.me/g/b2RTqZD8J/VVexNhmR
Link doesn’t work…
The link worked for me so I've requested to join. The men with empty profiles other than "no drama" and "just ask" are why I don't bother with apps/men any more and I'm always down to laugh at them
Doh! A few Haystackers have joined today, so maybe something's up? FB is weird.
https://fb.me/g/b2RTqZD8J/VVexNhmR
You're also welcome to DM me and I'll invite you
https://www.facebook.com/lara.starr/
Thx!
I just sent you a DM under my FB name, Jana Marie.
Just says content not available as possibly removed….?
Weird! Maybe my tiny group got flagged somehow?
Maybe this will work:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1415282605634160
This didn't work either. Just says page not available. I sent you a DM, so perhaps if you send the link there?
There’s now a wee group of mad men,
Who’d turn back the clock once again,
On progress, long made
By gals unafraid
To gather and push back on them.
Who else on this globe
Dare be such femo-phobes?
They’re in danger of losing the fight.
Their thoughts - retrograde,
Are destined to fade
As women with wit show their might.
OMG I could not love you and your work more. So funny. Of course they are a tiny fringe. All of these things are! The statistical comparison was so good to know, and one of the reasons I find "legacy media" completely useless of late. Carry on. Grateful for you.
From a strategic standpoint, I agree 100 percent that we must mock and belittle and show no fear when confronting proponents of this movement. And, I believe that we must take the movement very very seriously, and combat it (with this strategy) vigorously and at every opportunity. We must lead the younger women by example.
I believe that minimizing the threat this movement presents leads to complacency, and complacency is dangerous. Complacency has brought us to where we are today. The erosion of our rights as women is continuing and will continue into the future, because reversing a societal trend takes a lot of time and effort. I live in the South in a highly educated community where these ideas are openly advocated as politically and socially correct thinking - no longer considered particularly “fringe”. It is a terrifying development.
Do you have thoughts on who and what to do to loosen the grip on your neighbors? Humor, particularly gentle humor that recenters the ease and joy found in mutually supportive relationships, seems like a key component of defusing the potency of the All Gender Binary All the Time dream. I know the history of the U.S. southeast adds some layers to cultural conversation. I am writing some thoughts on how the most unifying explanation for the otherwise nonsensical collection of MAGA activities is the desire to feel better and more powerful than someone. I’m not sure how to make other worldviews more enticing than that desire.
I hear what you're saying, but the highly educated community of people you know who think this way are the ones who are financially able to live on one income. The economy will help push back on all of this. How many people can afford to pump out kid after kid with only one income, and live comfortably?
Agree! This is what I wanted to write, and you said it much better than I could have!
The bible is a fairy tale written for men to make them feel special. - yv_edit
A bit too simplistic. We can stick with burned haystack issues, without making blanket statements about the bible (which consists of many, many things)--even though these disturbed men turn to it for their own twisted purposes.
I am anti-patriarchy. That means that book of fiction too.
Thanks for the size comparisons! We know how these men hate that.🤣 I wrote about hypermasculinity and real fatherhood for my weekly commentary in a local online journal and was slammed with comments from the usual suspects from down here in red FL.cI didn’t read them.
I think I should read some books about cults to better understand this. That’s what this sounds like. Thank you for your wonderful writing.
Read Cultish, by the linguist Amanda Montell -- she looks at how language is recruited to suck people in -- SO fascinating https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062993151?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback
I recommend Knitting Cult Lady's most recent book "The Culting of America"
https://knittingcultlady.com/
Indeed!! The book 'Cultish' explained a lot for me.
Thank you for the perspective and reality. When media highlights it, and algorithms glut our feeds with it, it looks more pervasive than it is. Meanwhile, my son was faceTiming me bicycling lessons with princess daughter on her rainbow bike, magical stick hunting, (because a special tree drops magical sticks) and soccer ball kicking on this Father's Day. And the neighborhood guys barbecuing, tossing their kids in the pool, playing catch with their kids. Look around and what do our eyes see?
They cannot be mocked enough. Also, paying to volunteer? It boggles the mind.
Here for the mockery. All of it.
Thanks so much for putting the numbers and Cramer of it all into perspective so thoroughly - appreciate you and your work, Jennie! ❤️
OMG. This is so good. So, so good. Made me feel much better because I never thought of it this way. I am relatively old, and relatively social media illiterate, and know even less about copyright law. May I copy this on Facebook to my friends, or is that forbidden?
Yes, PLEASE! Share away! :)
DONE!! ♥️
You are doing an excellent and very serious job of mocking then already, Jennie!! 👍🙌🙏❤️