Including anything about sex in a profile just indicates a priority of physical intimacy above emotional connection. Auto B2B. However, jumping to the assumption of past or potential future non-consensual violent sexual behavior in this profile might be an unwarranted leap. The “caveman” reference is also a euphemism (very outdated now yet extremely familiar to Gen-X women 50+) that obviously refers to male initiation of sex but that doesn’t equate to lack of consent. Picking apart rhetoric requires discrimination between figurative and literal statements which is extremely difficult when so many guys like this one try to mix both, along with humor as well as serious expectations all within a few sentences! He made an intentional and effective attempt to rule out women not open to his fantasy/desire/preference, and succeeded fantastically in leaving the stench of asshole trailing behind! Whether by crafty, devious rhetorical design (which probably over-credits his intellect) or by quickly composing a selfish wish-list to attract his version of AI generated “Madonna/Whore” (more likely)…He managed to create a profile that implies consent of the women that respond. I’ll bet on the odds that “mostly vegan caveman” has significant mama-trauma and indulged in a self-aggrandizing description of himself.
He is addressing his words to complete strangers, using violent metaphors like ‘biting’, ‘dragging’, and historically caveman sex was clubbing head injuries perpetrated on the female - we don’t have to take these indicators as literal, they illustrate a dangerous and horrible thinking pattern - he CHOSE those words and scenarios from thousands of other ways that he could have.
“Ferociously smart but value kindness more” = be smart, but if you are smart enough to catch on to my total BS, please default to giving me a pass for my stupidity (“kindness”)
Agreed. Marya, it appears you haven’t familiarised yourself with Jennie’s use of critical discourse analysis to uncover the toxic patterns of men to stay clear of. Please don’t comment if you’re going to make up excuses for men’s inappropriate and toxic behaviour.
This is a context violation from the first sentence. I love Thich Nhat Hanh, but using that quote in the context of dating profile changes the meaning. "No separateness..." to "you will be my codependent while I set the rules." Wow. Way to butcher a quote.
Rewrite: I'm a gentleman looking for someone to accommodate my rape fantasies. Must be smart enough to be graced with my attention but dumb enough to put up with me. Bonus points if you don't think deeply enough to recognize when I use my awesome intelligence to scrape away at your sense of self. Hit me up!
I just got brave enough to get back on dating apps thanks to Jennie. This is how I process those "I just can't put my finger on it" profiles that rub me the wrong way.
Mostly Vegan? 🙄 Is this moral laziness or just performative spirituality? There is also something about that last line… You’re ferociously smart AND YET still will compromise your needs for my attention.
He does say he is into being a (sexually violent) caveguy - so maybe that's when he caves to his meat urges.. in the shadows hidden from his faux spiritualism.
This is a bit long but….I’m realizing that dating profiles are either ads selling the skills and services of one person and/or looking for the skills and services of another. You are selling the (hopefully) best version of yourself, and also looking for the right product that you think you want or need. I used to work in advertising, so I can see the value in that and I can also recognize how creating the perfect ad, or the perfect want ad is an incredibly valuable and useful skill. But as much as good advertising successfully conveys information, advertising is also all about selling a fantasy and making it desirable. You want to make a sale. This is not necessarily compatible with making a deep, profound and meaningful connection. If you are looking for a deep, meaningful relationship, it seems we have an inherent, contradictory problem.
Advertising involves research, listening and understanding your target market. So when you see something that theoretically feels like something you may be or may like, it’s very confusing that you end up feeling icky, and repulsed. I am ferociously smart, (and yes, I do say so myself). I am not vegan, but I don’t eat much meat. I like a gentleman. I even like sex. Here’s the thing, though. None of this is actually earned. If I get to know you, I will be the one determining if you are indeed a gentleman. You’ll have to determine whether I’m ‘smart” in the way you apparently desire. We’ll discover what we like to do, eat, experience together. It’s the blend of our personalities and experiences that will dictate that. It’s not something that can be prescribed in advance.
I’m realizing that I don’t want to be sold a pre-packaged partner and I don’t want to sell or present myself as a specific, preordered make and model like a premium car. What to see in the preliminary stages is, what are your core values? How to you treat, value, and view other people around you? How do you feel about the world, the environment we live in? How do you interact with others? With humor, intention, thoughtfulness? This is why breaking down the intent of what someone is saying works better than focusing on the “product” being presented or the wants being ordered. I’m just afraid that a lot of people can no longer tell the difference between flash and substance.
I know I shouldn't be shocked and appalled but I am..how utterly clueless and out of touch do you have to be to think this is ok and actually might attract a woman..I'm going to have to start showing these to my son..how NOT to be!
~rubs butter on neck to fend off crazy vegan cavemen~
I think we should start collecting them and make a "how not to" book for just about everyone. How not to be (sons). How not to end up with a loser (daughters). How not to raise a horrible human being (parents). lol
The ironies littered throughout this profile... It's especially interesting he chose that quote about separateness (ie " I'm desperately lonely") out of all the things he could have chosen, then segues into sexual assault. Jeez, I wonder why no "ferociously smart" woman wants you. I am convinced a "ferociously smart" one ripped him a new one when he tried that nonsense before, so now he has to qualify that he wants a smart one who will be nice to him no matter how he treats her.
Casting call for the weirdest spiritual gladiator show ever, where you fight for your…fact checks? He needs to pause dating until he quits microdosing 🥴
Does homeboy realize he’s on a dating app and not some Buddhist retreat?? You’re “here” to potentially meet romantic partners. You are not “here” to discover your chi, aura, togetherness, separateness, division, or long form algebra.
I once dated someone who described himself as "an aspiring vegan, who really loves a good steak" and I thought, "that's so much more honest than the "other" vegans I know who sometimes eat fish, or sometimes eggs, or sometimes cheese, or sometimes ice cream, but swear they're really vegan"
Men leading with non-consensual sex = Not Lonely Enough
Amen.
Including anything about sex in a profile just indicates a priority of physical intimacy above emotional connection. Auto B2B. However, jumping to the assumption of past or potential future non-consensual violent sexual behavior in this profile might be an unwarranted leap. The “caveman” reference is also a euphemism (very outdated now yet extremely familiar to Gen-X women 50+) that obviously refers to male initiation of sex but that doesn’t equate to lack of consent. Picking apart rhetoric requires discrimination between figurative and literal statements which is extremely difficult when so many guys like this one try to mix both, along with humor as well as serious expectations all within a few sentences! He made an intentional and effective attempt to rule out women not open to his fantasy/desire/preference, and succeeded fantastically in leaving the stench of asshole trailing behind! Whether by crafty, devious rhetorical design (which probably over-credits his intellect) or by quickly composing a selfish wish-list to attract his version of AI generated “Madonna/Whore” (more likely)…He managed to create a profile that implies consent of the women that respond. I’ll bet on the odds that “mostly vegan caveman” has significant mama-trauma and indulged in a self-aggrandizing description of himself.
Where does it say non-consensual?
Do you think the majority of women reading his profile, want to be dragged back to his cave by the neck? 🤮
Any mention of sex in a profile is B2B. This fetishy, BDSM, violent version is even more toxic.
There are sites for this type of thing: FetLife comes to mind. Presenting these ideas on a mainstream dating site is a clear sign of danger.
He is addressing his words to complete strangers, using violent metaphors like ‘biting’, ‘dragging’, and historically caveman sex was clubbing head injuries perpetrated on the female - we don’t have to take these indicators as literal, they illustrate a dangerous and horrible thinking pattern - he CHOSE those words and scenarios from thousands of other ways that he could have.
“Ferociously smart but value kindness more” = be smart, but if you are smart enough to catch on to my total BS, please default to giving me a pass for my stupidity (“kindness”)
Perhaps he simply means "don't be one of those assh*les from MENSA.
Marya- based on your comments, you need to review the concepts of BHDM. You’re defending this profile and it’s dangerous.
Agreed. Marya, it appears you haven’t familiarised yourself with Jennie’s use of critical discourse analysis to uncover the toxic patterns of men to stay clear of. Please don’t comment if you’re going to make up excuses for men’s inappropriate and toxic behaviour.
Maybe he typed it by mistake. What find excuses? He’s not a toddler. Take them at their words.
This is a context violation from the first sentence. I love Thich Nhat Hanh, but using that quote in the context of dating profile changes the meaning. "No separateness..." to "you will be my codependent while I set the rules." Wow. Way to butcher a quote.
Came here to say this…so gross🤮 #namasteawayfromhim
#namaste away from him! 🤣🤣🤣
Omg, that's good.
Hahahaha! THIS!
Rewrite: I'm a gentleman looking for someone to accommodate my rape fantasies. Must be smart enough to be graced with my attention but dumb enough to put up with me. Bonus points if you don't think deeply enough to recognize when I use my awesome intelligence to scrape away at your sense of self. Hit me up!
Excellent. You should see if you can get a job rewriting profiles for these moronic men! Or, as an interpreter. :-) Seriously, love what you wrote.
I just got brave enough to get back on dating apps thanks to Jennie. This is how I process those "I just can't put my finger on it" profiles that rub me the wrong way.
You're really good at it!
Please start an Instagram where you translate profiles like this 🙏
This is so perfect!
Mostly Vegan? 🙄 Is this moral laziness or just performative spirituality? There is also something about that last line… You’re ferociously smart AND YET still will compromise your needs for my attention.
I was wondering the same. Is Mostly Vegan a guy who eats vegan M-F and binges on meat, weekends? Or could it be Vegan + butter and cream?
Insane to me, this pathetic, performative (and predatory!) profile
Yep, you either are or are not vegan.
He likes his honey!
Get it? Honey?
I’ll show myself out…
He does say he is into being a (sexually violent) caveguy - so maybe that's when he caves to his meat urges.. in the shadows hidden from his faux spiritualism.
You know, like sorta pregnant.
I know alot of vegans who let a piece of cheese slip from time to time.
Well, then they’re not vegans.
we call them vegetarians :D
This is a bit long but….I’m realizing that dating profiles are either ads selling the skills and services of one person and/or looking for the skills and services of another. You are selling the (hopefully) best version of yourself, and also looking for the right product that you think you want or need. I used to work in advertising, so I can see the value in that and I can also recognize how creating the perfect ad, or the perfect want ad is an incredibly valuable and useful skill. But as much as good advertising successfully conveys information, advertising is also all about selling a fantasy and making it desirable. You want to make a sale. This is not necessarily compatible with making a deep, profound and meaningful connection. If you are looking for a deep, meaningful relationship, it seems we have an inherent, contradictory problem.
Advertising involves research, listening and understanding your target market. So when you see something that theoretically feels like something you may be or may like, it’s very confusing that you end up feeling icky, and repulsed. I am ferociously smart, (and yes, I do say so myself). I am not vegan, but I don’t eat much meat. I like a gentleman. I even like sex. Here’s the thing, though. None of this is actually earned. If I get to know you, I will be the one determining if you are indeed a gentleman. You’ll have to determine whether I’m ‘smart” in the way you apparently desire. We’ll discover what we like to do, eat, experience together. It’s the blend of our personalities and experiences that will dictate that. It’s not something that can be prescribed in advance.
I’m realizing that I don’t want to be sold a pre-packaged partner and I don’t want to sell or present myself as a specific, preordered make and model like a premium car. What to see in the preliminary stages is, what are your core values? How to you treat, value, and view other people around you? How do you feel about the world, the environment we live in? How do you interact with others? With humor, intention, thoughtfulness? This is why breaking down the intent of what someone is saying works better than focusing on the “product” being presented or the wants being ordered. I’m just afraid that a lot of people can no longer tell the difference between flash and substance.
Profound.
Yes! You’ve nailed it. Thank you for explaining the difference, which I was sensing but not identifying clearly.
So, he wants a girlfriend who is brilliant but who won't correct him, right? Dating him would absolutely be a mad journey in Mansplain Land
If I'm ferociously smart but value kindness more, why would I choose you, who are a gentleman but choose aggression?
I know I shouldn't be shocked and appalled but I am..how utterly clueless and out of touch do you have to be to think this is ok and actually might attract a woman..I'm going to have to start showing these to my son..how NOT to be!
~rubs butter on neck to fend off crazy vegan cavemen~
I think we should start collecting them and make a "how not to" book for just about everyone. How not to be (sons). How not to end up with a loser (daughters). How not to raise a horrible human being (parents). lol
I snort laughed, then pictured that poor cat who had butter rubbed all over him.
Long live Jorts! (And always ask yourself: am I really helping, or am I buttering the cat?)
"mostly vegan"
Well, he's only "mostly" vegan. He might butter those necks he bites, so don't tempt him 🤣
The ironies littered throughout this profile... It's especially interesting he chose that quote about separateness (ie " I'm desperately lonely") out of all the things he could have chosen, then segues into sexual assault. Jeez, I wonder why no "ferociously smart" woman wants you. I am convinced a "ferociously smart" one ripped him a new one when he tried that nonsense before, so now he has to qualify that he wants a smart one who will be nice to him no matter how he treats her.
Casting call for the weirdest spiritual gladiator show ever, where you fight for your…fact checks? He needs to pause dating until he quits microdosing 🥴
Or at least lay off substances while writing online dating profiles.
Confused much, animals carry their young by the nape/scruff of the neck, caveman drag their women by the hair, but either way, ick 🤢
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
Does homeboy realize he’s on a dating app and not some Buddhist retreat?? You’re “here” to potentially meet romantic partners. You are not “here” to discover your chi, aura, togetherness, separateness, division, or long form algebra.
Long form algebra 🤣😂🤣
How are "ferociously smart" and "value kindness" on the same continuum? Like you can only be one or the other. B2B
WTF is "mostly vegan?!" Veganism is a strict moral philosophy and belief system, not something you slide in and out of like somebody's DMs.
I'll never understand why people like this make such restrictive declarations only to be weak about it. Does he think it's a flex?
I once dated someone who described himself as "an aspiring vegan, who really loves a good steak" and I thought, "that's so much more honest than the "other" vegans I know who sometimes eat fish, or sometimes eggs, or sometimes cheese, or sometimes ice cream, but swear they're really vegan"
mostly vegan means he lets an egg or bit of cheese slip by now and again.
Veganism isn't like joining a monestary you won't be defrocked if you eat an egg.
Marya - are you in the right place? You’re spending an awful lot of energy defending this horrific profile
Thoroughly enjoying this cat and mouse game you’re playing with Marya. I’m off to look for more encounters.
Also, Marya is either a dude or really needs to confront her internalized misogyny.
Perhaps it's Marya's profile?
I worry for Marya too. Wrong place and wrong time perhaps for you to be here Marya?
Exactly. Can we B2B commenters on here?
As much as I swoon at having the back of my nack bitten, no fuckers dragging me back to their cave 😒