Every Burned Haystack® Success Story Sounds Exactly the Same

The Top 5 Statements I Hear from Women Who Found their Needles

1. I was absolutely ruthless about blocking-to-burn. (A shocking number of BHDM success stories feature the word “ruthless”: I’ve studied this).

2. The second a guy led with anything to do with my appearance, I blocked him.

3. I tolerated zero words of sexual content and blocked-to-burn without further engagement.

4. I became keenly attuned to “test and apologize” and other rhetorical patterns, and I blocked without a single word at the first sign of those patterns.

5. I decided whom to connect with based upon words and behavior, not appearance or chemistry.
   

Important clarification:

NONE of this is rooted in religion, political conservativism, “traditional values,” or prudishness. It’s rooted in highly-effective techniques from the discipline of applied rhetoric, which is the academic foundation of Burned Haystack Dating Method™.

We use rhetorical patterning, heuristics, thin-slicing, semiotics, gray-rocking, and flipping the script. We learn to identify things like thought-terminating cliches, glittering generalities, and weasel words.

The entire Burned Haystack method is PRAGMATIC, not MORALISTIC. It’s about EFFICIENCY and tailored specifically to people who are only interested in a healthy, long-term, monogamous partnership. The reason we immediately block-to-burn men who lead with comments about our appearance or with sexual content has absolutely nothing to do with personal values. It’s because both of those things can be thin-sliced to these conclusions:

1. This guy has poor social skills.

2. This guy doesn’t understand boundaries.

3. This guy objectifies women.

4. This guy is 100% out of touch with modern dating discourses (and therefore what else is he out of touch with?).

5. This guy has 0% empathy or concept of what it’s like to be a woman on a dating app.

6. This guy isn’t smart enough to increase his own odds on the dating apps simply by avoiding what nearly every dating coach/article published in the past 5 years has told him to avoid.

7. This guy is too lazy to look up tips about how to succeed as a man on the dating apps, or he’d already know that he’s working against himself.

8. This guy is going to be really bad in bed (because poor social intuition, lack of boundary recognition, disrespect for women, unwillingness to listen, and laziness all = “bad in bed”).

   So this is why we block-to-burn. It’s not because we’re prudes. It’s because we’re uninterested in socially inept lazy men who are going to be bad in bed. 🤷‍♀️
   

   ---

   *More words from Burned Haystack ™ success stories here and here and here and here . . .