104 Comments
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Patricia Dumont's avatar

wow ! red flags party but the funny-not-funniest part of it is him looking for a not established person at 46 YEARS OLD !!!

He gets a point for creativity, his way of rebranding his failures and struggles into something valuable is surprising ahahah

But we are not fools Josuah, your profile screams insecurities. You want to be on top of someone to compensate the fact that you are not on top of your game.

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Jennie Young's avatar

I thought this was the funniest part too. 😂

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Clearly he is insight-impaired. Has some dopeass magical mirror, too.

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Dramarama's avatar

Insight-impaired is too good and the mirror you're talking about resides at the amusement park!

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Yessss!

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US Blues's avatar

He’s probably looking for someone very young like 18 yrs old. 🥴

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Or younger, just sayin. Epstein bro. Barfbarfbarf.

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US Blues's avatar

I thought of that too. 🤮

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Wendy Summer's avatar

My ex was not an established person at age 62

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Hahaha 💯!

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Kris's avatar

Looking for a not established woman means this catch-of-a-guy is really looking for a 20 year old. Eeeew.

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Elise's avatar

Let's see...so much to consider. "If you're already established I'm not interested," seems like a Rosetta Stone for this one. So I read it as:

I'm looking for someone vulnerable, who hasn't had much success on their own, so they will feel like my own mediocre achievements are something to admire. I'm looking for a cheerleader for my third class efforts, who in Biblical (i.e. patriarchal) fashion won't question me, or my decisions, or my mental states. Title: Mediocre man seeks submissive, naive, woman in good shape without me having to nag about her weight.

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Ixidro's avatar

His third-class efforts would certainly contradict being a hard worker, also.

He's healthy, but not personal trainer/10 healthy. Just... normal. So he doesn't work hard at that either.

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Ellen Christian-Reid's avatar

He can be a “hard” worker just not a smart one. When you’re dim, even a simple task seems taxing. He is dim- that’s obvious.

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Peta's avatar

Being a hard worker is not all it’s cracked up to be either. Both my exes were hard workers, my second one to the point that work came first and everything else got neglected. It didn’t mean he earned a lot either. I think It’s more important to have goals to work towards and seek a work/life balance. Also, you can be hard working and still be an a$$h0le!

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Wendy Summer's avatar

Pet yes my ex was a hard word it was an excuse to avoid interaction with his children he didn't relate to them at all never once kicked a ball

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Peta's avatar

Yes!! Mine absolutely used his long hours at work (which were unnecessary) as an excuse to never engage with any of the home things including his relationships with all of us. We survived on his emotional breadcrumbs.

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Fae's avatar

This exactly!

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Jenna's avatar

But Josiah, with you as my leader, what on earth will we ever struggle with???

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Elise's avatar

LOL

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US Blues's avatar

🤣

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Kim's avatar

The manosphere really has all these duds out here believing they all get a little lady by way of distribution.

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Beth Rapach's avatar

Like a dang cat! 🤦🏻‍♀️

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TLM's avatar

Don't insult the Cat Distribution System. It is more selective than that! 🐱💕

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Mez Relda's avatar

I need to know more about this cat distribution system!

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Kristi's avatar

Opposite impossible woman: be submissive but let’s build our life together; let me lead but don’t expect me to lead you

Is this a threat? Don’t have your own life

I’m a very busy man: like I have time to help you achieve my physical standards

Weaponized spirituality: biblical means total submission

And I think we know where he stood on Jan 6

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Lanie Samuels's avatar

And the goal post fit physical standards would always be changing.

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Charlene Cervenka's avatar

Aside from all the obvious bright red flags, he has some dichotomies. He wants to be the leader and guide, but he’s unwilling to help a woman train in the gym? He most likely cannot offer financial security or safety, and by his own definition, is physically unattractive. I’d bet he’ll demand the woman be attractive. This boy seriously lacks awareness. I’m feeling very worried for any woman who connects with this man. I have no doubt he’s also physically abusive given how insecure he is.

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Caitlin Burke's avatar

Personal trainer thing I think just means "arrive and stay slim." But he is for sure broadcasting that he will not be caring in any way. He is a textbook "labor digger."

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Ellen Christian-Reid's avatar

Head scratcher: what woman anywhere reading that would think “Hell yeah! That’s a right swipe!”

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Elise's avatar

Sadly, a woman with very low self-esteem, not the sharpest tool in the shed, raised in an evangelical family. Trained to have no sense of self-worth and that God will reward her in heaven for her PMS (Putting up with Men's Shit)

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Dramarama's avatar

I'm only just beginning to feel the horror of those TRYING to participate in the dating world!

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Stacey Dawn's avatar

I’m seeing that his first wife wised up and RAN! And anyone reading his profile should do the same.

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Damn! One big "L" on the forehead.

My wifey left me and I haven't a clue why, bc I'm only doing what all dudes do, like expect a gala held in my honor for making the herculean effort to get my ass out of bed every weekday morning and go to a mediocre job.

All I want is a blow-up doll to be my hole-in-one domestic appliance and child rearer, administrative manager, and mommy, who looks like Kristi Noem except if you dare shoot my smelly dog I will beat you and tell you it's your fault.

I reserve the right not to bathe, scratch my ass and eat boogers in public, drink, fart, belch, be a racist homophobic cum sock and only "babysit" our kids when I want to be a shit streak braggart to my MAGAT bros that I am the Best Dad on planet Earth.

All of this the Bible tells me so!

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DeAnn Kiser's avatar

You win the internet today. 🤣

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

That makes my whole day, thank you! My work in the world is complete for the week. Crones rule 👑 💪 and assbags drool. 💩👅

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Heather B's avatar

Hahaha! Best comment.

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Kate Morgan Reade's avatar

Thanks! I was so inspired by his profile.🤮

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Beverly's avatar

🤣

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Luana's avatar

He is a muscle head hobosexual who once dated an established woman. He was dumped when asked to pull his own weight. Hence, the bitterness and his “not being rich” or “established yet.”

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Janey's avatar

So many patterns:

"Me Tarzan" - Needs a woman who looks up to him and cannot build a life without him.

"Only I matter" - Man must lead. The incapable woman must follow. He cannot be bothered to assist her in her goals to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Alternately this could be called “I am the center of the universe.“

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Dramarama's avatar

Hold on . . .TARZAN was really tan, with a awe inspiring physique, handsome, and skilled to accomplish anything and everything. He dominates his world. He could talk to a monkey and would have welcomed any woman as great companionship with NO THOUGHT of status, society, or abuse. This guy? NEVER this guy. This guy should remain single to make the world continue to keep spinning.

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Cmomma's avatar

"Must not be established because I can't control and manipulate a woman who might have life experience, self-autonomy, or emotional intelligence.

I've been working on my abuse tactics, it almost worked perfectly on my last victim. You could be the lucky submissive girlie to be next!"

Sorry, Josiah, I'm beyond my people-pleasing phase of my life. Go pound rocks and find someone else to pay your rent.

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Rachael Schoenbaum's avatar

How can you possibly have a profile like this AND want something casual?!?

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MagdalenaBB's avatar

Inconsistency and cognitive dissonance is the only consistency with this one. That flag alone is a B2B.

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Eleanor Shellstrop from FB's avatar

I'm looking for a victi...uh lady ....to be totally reliant on me emotionally, physically, financially so that she cannot escape my dunge...love. 😬 My abu...uh... our struggles will build closer shack...bonds that bring us closer together ❤️

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javandel@pacbell.net's avatar

Dude is looking for a "biblical relationship" but is looking for a "submissive partner" rather than a "wife" and does not mention marriage at all. The types of relationships described in the Bible are pretty limited. So, if he is not looking for a wife, is he looking for a concubine? A slave? An adulterous affair (if he is married to whomever he had kids with)?

Also, the Bible is pretty clear about condemning premarital/extramarital sex yet somehow I get the impression that he will be demanding sex from his "submissive partner." #hypocrite

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LoWa's avatar

Most men are looking for slaves

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Dramarama's avatar

Sadly, they don't know that.

Sadly, they have to be re-taught that toilets don't clean themselves, meals are not made by a kitchen fairy.

My own mother thought is was BAD idea to have big brother learn to use that "start" button on the washing machine.

Ironically, it turned out that he LOVED cooking after his wife removed herself from all things kitchen. He LOVED grocery shopping too! Who would have guessed? If he had been expected to take his share of the household work, he could have done more than taking out the trash.

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Celeste French's avatar

I am hearing:

I want to control you.

I'm only looking for someone vulnerable, lost, and struggling.

Ya know, because then you'll be easier to control.

But because my religion says it's fine 😇

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Zilzilzil's avatar

Oooooohhh, someone who’s never read the Bible and wants to live out all his biblical sexual fantasies! I can take his foreskin while he’s sleeping. . . Drive a tent spike through his head. . . Offer him up to be raped by strangers as a show of hospitality. . . Send him into battle on the front lines to be killed so I can be with someone more powerful . . . So many fun ways to have a biblical relationship!

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Janet Moyle's avatar

Fabulous laughs, thank you

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