This also includes the men who say "I am an open book, just ask" or "I will answer all of your questions, just ask". Tell me you are lazy without saying you are lazy. B2B🔥
I find the “just ask” to be a way to evade truth. My ex husband did this all the time. Would lie by omission and when caught and questioned would say “you never asked”. Red flags flying high 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I made the mistake of engaging with a "just ask"er once and never again. The conversation was like pulling teeth. When I asked him to describe himself, he actually wrote "I'm not like what you would expect." And then I responded "I wouldn't know what to expect since I know nothing about you!" I think he was trying to be mysterious, but it came off like he was hiding something or extremely intellectually lazy.
I also find this off-putting, since these men opt-in to join the dating apps! It's not a good sign if someone won't put in the bare minimum of effort into creating a profile on the site they chose to sign up for.
we had this show in Canada called "Tiny Talent Time" for the under 12 set to sing, dance, play an instrument or recite. The would have a little interview before they performed; most of them were very little and the host would ask questions like how old are you, what grade are you in, what's your favorite subject and why and he would always get one word answers -- even when he asked the open ended questions. Like pulling teeth. But they are 5. So whenever I encounter men like this I think "OMG, Tiny Talent Time". I would rather have my teeth pulled than go on dates with these types.
While I agree that putting “not a subscriber” on a profile is an immediate B2B, I disagree with the notion that people who don’t subscribe aren’t serious.
I’ve been a subscriber to a number of apps and my experience wasn’t any better while I was a subscriber - so I haven’t renewed any of them. I’d rather spend my money on more worthwhile things 🙂
I’ve also paid and not paid for dating apps, and have a reasonable grip on what I could be getting with a subscription. However, I’ve never written it in my profile when I wasn’t paying, and tried to put the extra work of my unpaid subscription on my potential matches. That’s the part that makes them not serious.
Same, girl, same. I started paying to telegraph that I was serious. It became very clear very quickly it was not money well spent.
Match gave me a free month a few months ago. It didn't have the intended effect.
I went out with a gut who paid for non-members to be able to chat with him on Match because he knew that it was foolish for women to pay. It didn't work out for other reasons, but I respected him for that.
I was thinking that too, just because someone isn’t subscribing doesn’t mean they are not serious. And the apps have gotten to be quite expensive, Match is $59.99/month unless you pay for 6 months. I don’t put that in my profile though, so maybe 🚩.
I like the "stupid/lazy" way of looking at it. All those quotes are red flags for me as well. But I cannot help but see the manipulation in it. Throwing a net, fishing for inexperienced women willing to cater to, or mummy them.
I have a lot of experience dealing with narcs, since childhood until my mid fourties, so I may be bias....
Now consider the fact that 80-90% of the male profiles are studiously ignored by women online, even moderately good looking ones. They concentrate on the 3% over 6ft 2 with a property/stocks profile.
They forget that approximately 2.4 million other women are swiping on exactly the same profile.
They then wonder why they get “played.”
“All men are the same!” 🙄
The hell that is the dating app is there for one thing…making executives in Menlo Park millions.
This also includes the men who say "I am an open book, just ask" or "I will answer all of your questions, just ask". Tell me you are lazy without saying you are lazy. B2B🔥
Yup. We are ALL DONE with those lines, lol. No one even wants to ask.
I find the “just ask” to be a way to evade truth. My ex husband did this all the time. Would lie by omission and when caught and questioned would say “you never asked”. Red flags flying high 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
That's why in court you swear to tell the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing BUT the truth. Lying by omission is still lying.
I never bother to respond to those; nothing can make me curious enough to ask a lazy man ANYTHING about himself.
I made the mistake of engaging with a "just ask"er once and never again. The conversation was like pulling teeth. When I asked him to describe himself, he actually wrote "I'm not like what you would expect." And then I responded "I wouldn't know what to expect since I know nothing about you!" I think he was trying to be mysterious, but it came off like he was hiding something or extremely intellectually lazy.
So true!
I've kept seeing in women's profiles words like those in your message and those in the initial message.
Weaaponized incompetence is not a trait we are looking for and all of these profile aspects scream it.
oh boy can I relate to this! Kudos to your for labeling this as "weaponized incompetence." Might this be a rhetorical pattern to explore?
“Really bad at talking about myself, so . . .”
This is probably the guy who will spend ninety minutes rambling on about himself and ask you zero questions.
Or worse. I once went out on a first date that featured lectures about his pet corn snake and the band Tool. I wish I were making this up.
Oh no, noooooo. I guess that makes him just about as interesting as a corn snake and Tool.
Hahahaha, YES.
I also find this off-putting, since these men opt-in to join the dating apps! It's not a good sign if someone won't put in the bare minimum of effort into creating a profile on the site they chose to sign up for.
we had this show in Canada called "Tiny Talent Time" for the under 12 set to sing, dance, play an instrument or recite. The would have a little interview before they performed; most of them were very little and the host would ask questions like how old are you, what grade are you in, what's your favorite subject and why and he would always get one word answers -- even when he asked the open ended questions. Like pulling teeth. But they are 5. So whenever I encounter men like this I think "OMG, Tiny Talent Time". I would rather have my teeth pulled than go on dates with these types.
All of THIS! I have often said I don't want to date a man who is flummoxed by Twitter.
Just here to applaud your use of “flummoxed” 👏
Ditto!!
Ha! Thank you :)
If someone doesn't know what to write about themselves it means they have low self-awareness.
Or they only do the bare minimum mentally if the only thing they can write is: I don't know what to write.
No.
While I agree that putting “not a subscriber” on a profile is an immediate B2B, I disagree with the notion that people who don’t subscribe aren’t serious.
I’ve been a subscriber to a number of apps and my experience wasn’t any better while I was a subscriber - so I haven’t renewed any of them. I’d rather spend my money on more worthwhile things 🙂
I’ve also paid and not paid for dating apps, and have a reasonable grip on what I could be getting with a subscription. However, I’ve never written it in my profile when I wasn’t paying, and tried to put the extra work of my unpaid subscription on my potential matches. That’s the part that makes them not serious.
Same, girl, same. I started paying to telegraph that I was serious. It became very clear very quickly it was not money well spent.
Match gave me a free month a few months ago. It didn't have the intended effect.
I went out with a gut who paid for non-members to be able to chat with him on Match because he knew that it was foolish for women to pay. It didn't work out for other reasons, but I respected him for that.
I was thinking that too, just because someone isn’t subscribing doesn’t mean they are not serious. And the apps have gotten to be quite expensive, Match is $59.99/month unless you pay for 6 months. I don’t put that in my profile though, so maybe 🚩.
One of my favorites!! https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9qiuMxs7Um/?igsh=bW1haDNkY3RiZHdh
🤣
When I’ve come across this, It appears like someone who thinks they are too good for this, but are doing it anyway, painfully. 😊
Excellent!! Burn, burn, burn. Tired of wasting time, period.
Have you considered commenting on all the rubbish things women put as well?
“Must be a millionaire?”
“I’m a valuable prize!”
“Here’s my list of qualifications you must pass! 🙄
“I don’t bring anything to the table. I am the table!”
Rinse and repeat 5,000 times!!
Also #1 and #2 scream “fake profile/scammer” to me.
I like the "stupid/lazy" way of looking at it. All those quotes are red flags for me as well. But I cannot help but see the manipulation in it. Throwing a net, fishing for inexperienced women willing to cater to, or mummy them.
I have a lot of experience dealing with narcs, since childhood until my mid fourties, so I may be bias....
Now consider the fact that 80-90% of the male profiles are studiously ignored by women online, even moderately good looking ones. They concentrate on the 3% over 6ft 2 with a property/stocks profile.
They forget that approximately 2.4 million other women are swiping on exactly the same profile.
They then wonder why they get “played.”
“All men are the same!” 🙄
The hell that is the dating app is there for one thing…making executives in Menlo Park millions.
It also brings out the worst in both sexes.
Go back to discos!💃
This is good to reread every time I open a dating app! 😄 It helps curb that ingrained “instinct” to give everyone a chance. 🤦♀️