In 2017, I sold the gray house in the background and pared down my life’s possessions to that cube in the foreground, plus what I could fit in my tiny Subaru hatchback (which was not much, considering it also had to contain me, my kid, our cat, and our golden retriever).
After leaving a 31 year marriage and raising 3 kids in a 3k sf home, I am living in a 350sf top floor studio apartment with views and could not be happier. I have everything I need (and want) and nothing I don’t. The amount of peace this tiny apartment brings me is immeasurable.
Similar story. Divorced a little over 2 years ago, from a person I was with since I was 18 (and I am almost 55 now). I've moved into a 490sf apt that is a 15 minute bike ride from work with a sweeping view of my city's skyline that I love. Recently, I've made it a priority to start letting go of more stuff because I have crammed A LOT into my place. Although there are still things in my marital home to purge too, I can feel the power in minimalism calling to me.
How amazing that you're biking to work! I used to do that in Denver, but in Green Bay it's just too cold most of the year (for me; a lot of people do it, as "snow bikes" are a thing here --- I am not that hardcore, lol).
My previous commute to work was 1:45 each eay and consisted of drive to the train; take the train; walk to the office. Getting that time back has been amazing! Philly is way more amenable to cycling to work than Green Bay. lol.
When I lived in SF, I walked 45 minutes to and from work, at Fort Mason, plus a very scenic walk at lunch. Love being outdoors. Now, I too am in a cold climate. I actually got frostbite on a walk last winter 😬.
I divorced 18mo ago and the process of getting rid of 27yrs of marital stuff was daunting! I survived and it actually was therapeutic to have to hold each item and ‘Marie Kondo’ it. I said ‘thank you and good bye’ to 95% of everything and am in a tiny 2 bedroom rental and the freedom (after the initial feelings of loss of getting rid of my curated ‘life’ stuff) is palpable!
SAME!!! It's been two years for me and by far the MOST TRAUMATIC was all the stuff left behind in the house, that I Had to pack up alone because my ex didn't want a bar of it, and when put up boxes with his name on it to take, he would lose it and have a go at me, for 'forcing him to take stuff' like it wasn't his sh*t too. Honestly it's really brought me face to face with the amount of things we consume, I'm in a smaller place now, and it's kind of freeing to have little space. There are things I miss but I could do without and I'm seriously thinking about my future- do I buy a house or a small townhouse and how do i maximise my equity without losing myself to stufff and housing costs.?
Thank you Jenny I honestly think you've touched on a VERY REAL issue and a book could come out of this- perhaps burn the haystack- house and divorce edition??
How interesting to learn more about your background. Thank you for sharing that with us!
Valentine’s Day of 2019, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. We lived in what felt like my dream home, but the kicker was I paid the mortgage and utilities, and I did all the yard work and cleaning, all while working FT and later being diagnosed with T1 diabetes. He worked randomly and did everything he enjoyed. I was completely burnt out.
After our divorce was finalized, I told my mom I wanted to sell everything and travel. I HATED being tied down by possessions and having to work my ass off just to pay bills. It felt like that was the only point to my existence.
My vision has changed, because I became more aligned with what I truly want. I want freedom. I want the time to do whatever I enjoy. Life isn’t meant to spend every waking moment taking care of stuff and maintaining a house and yard.
I finally sold my house last year and moved in with my mom. I’ve used the money I made to spend the last nine months recovering from an abusive marriage and simply trying to survive day to day. I also bought property down the road from her, and I’ll be doing a shed to home conversion. It’ll end up being less than 600sq ft, and will house only the things that make me happy - my pets, books, art supplies, and basic necessities.
No grass to mow, and a natural habitat with native plants and flowers. A few raised garden beds for growing fruits and veggies. Simple living.
I have to get back to work and save up more to move on to the next phase, but once it’s done, it will all be paid for. No mortgage. To me, this is freedom.
Way to go, Jennie! I retired 6 years ago and immediately downsized my possessions to what would fit into 2 suitcases. Ten days later, I moved to Mexico and became a full-time nomad doing house/petsitting. Not having a home of my own is so freeing and effortlessly frugal. I love my lifestyle!
A fellow Ohioan and college instructor (Kent State) here! I have too much stuff but it’s mostly BOOKS, and I cannot express thoroughly enough my love of being surrounded by books. I have always loved William Morris’s suggestion: “Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” Now my English teacher self is kicking in — it’s not “was comprised of,” but simply “comprised.” Or “was composed of.” Thanks for all you do!
Love this! I've always thought books are the most beautiful way to decorate a home... if they are all books you have read and loved and, whether or not you return to read them again, hold joyful memories. Though after my divorce I did have to leave many of my books behind in my ex house with my ex spouse, I have recently been able to rescue most of them and the book reunion under one roof has been glorious!
My grandparents had a magical house. They built it themselves in 1941 and included a LOT of closets. So many closets. As a child, I would explore the nooks and crannies. One closet held cardboard suitcases packed with love letters my grandfather sent my grandmother during WWII. Another was a cedar closet full of my grandmother's furs and sweaters. The one in the back bedroom held all of my mother's and aunt's formal dresses from high school and college. It was full of STUFF. My mom had less stuff, and my kids did not grow up exploring her home in the same way. Now some of the stuff from my grandparents and my mom have made it down to me and I'm realizing my kids don't have the same sentimental attachment to these things that I do. So, I'm being ruthless in getting rid of things I don't use and they won't want. I'm keeping a few antiques for my own pleasure and memories, but otherwise, my cupboards are bare, so to speak. I purged probably 50% when I divorced and moved out of my marital home, and I continue to purge on a regular basis. It's sad to realize the things that bring back so many memories are leaving my hands, but the memories won't. And it feels SO GOOD to open cabinets and closets and not have things falling on my head!
I love this article Jennie. I am a dedicated minimalist. As is my partner. I am also a college professor. And living a minimalist lifestyle is values driven as well as a way to save money. In his article in the Paris Review , swiss curator Hans ulrich Obrist talks about the GLUT of the twentieth and twenty first centuries ( he cites some theoris and sorry.I can't remember the name right now). Humans before this time lived in states of scarcity. These centuries changed all that. I'm always rather judgy about people who have or live in large dwellings and who don't utilize every single ounce of the space. Or have so much stuff that will eventually end up in a landfill. And think of the energy costs at a time when everyone should be conserving as much energy as possible. Ive often joked that if I had to move at a moment's notice , I could have my apartment packed up in an afternoon. Being a minimalist goes against the norm.When really in my mind, everybody should be a minimalist- small spaces, small cars, less stuff. That's my utopia.
After three moves of cities and now my seventh house move in the last ten years, I certainly understand the need to purge, or to collate possessions, and the benefits thereof. Despite all that, I surprised myself with the house that I chose to buy and move into just a month ago. At 117sm (1250sqf) including a garage on a section just twice that size, I was hesitant to even look at it. But, it was in my price range, and more importantly, exactly where I wanted to live. I'm hoping to own this place forever. I *might* however rent it out and live overseas for a while; time will tell. (It might've been smaller if my daughter didn't intend to live with me while studying)
But, Jennie, your story and those of the other women here echo my own. Happiness isn't found in possessions, although I love colour and pattern and design. It's not found in clutter, but in the space that safety gives you.
It felt so odd going to my ex's house from time to time (to get the kids when they were younger) and seeing the bar stools I'd picked out, the piano stool I'd upholstered, the art I'd framed. I have treasures -art, books, my mother's knitted blankets - but I appreciate a good edit of the things that you own, especially as life shifts and changes.
Although now that all my pot plants are in one spot, I think I might have one more thing to declutter!
I’m not a minimalist per se, but Marie Kondo’s book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, was so inspiring!
Everything in my home is carefully chosen and curated to create a beautiful look and feel. My precious things are artwork, photos of my kids, and family heirlooms. I also have a thing for down pillows & comforters, everything white crisp and clean.
I have lived with nothing (lost everything in High School fleeing an abusive parent), and lived with very little, doing humanitarian work in an African village (so happy there!). So I feel I’ve gone on this journey, and now I take a lot of care to build beautiful living spaces.
Thanks for sharing! Minimalism can be very healing
I loved Kondo's book too, and I think her ethos is exactly what you're saying: it's not necessarily that there's a "right" amount of stuff; it's that the amount of stuff should be curated and intentional as opposed to just unexamined default --- it sounds like you've done exactly that!
I have recently discovered Myquillyn Smith’s philosophy of “house hushing.” It’s not necessarily minimalism; but rather, curating your home to be exactly what makes you feel peaceful and serene. Sort of a combination of minimalism and Marie Kondo’s method. She has a few books and a new one coming out!
I also wanted to say- I’m in the midst of wrapping up one job and starting a new one. It’s funny how life changes or major events such as jobs, divorce, or surgery can cause us to look at our homes and the systems we live in and how we might change them to better suit our current state of mind. I’m in the midst of a huge purge right now and the last time I did this was after I was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. It’s so freeing to start a new chapter and to also curate your home at the same time. Empowering.
Yes! That’s exactly what I meant 🥰 you said it better than I did.
So, now I have a little cottage in France, and it’s been lovely starting from scratch and only having beautiful, intentional things. It’s so peaceful.
Btw You’re invited if you’d like to visit Jennie! I’d be honoured to have you (and Pat, of course!)
My goal for the house is to invite women artists (writers too!) for free Artists-In-Residence programs. I’m still finishing the renovation, but I can’t wait to start hosting ☺️
Anyhoo feel free to reach out if you’re interested in being on our invite list! 🏡
Exactly! It's not about minimalism or maximalism. It's about rightism - having things that bring you joy. I have a crafts and woodworking equipment that take up a lot of space, and would definitely not fit into a one-bedroom apartment, but they bring me joy.
I am about to leave from a gigantic home the pool and the yard and a basement full of 60 years of hoarded stuff. My stuff, my ex's stuff, my brother's stuff and then my deceased parents hoard. I'm headed to a relatively compact home with no property, no plants, no pool and most importantly no basement. I am doing this in hopes a simplifying my life and listening my mental load so I can do things like learn how to sew, read books and go for long walks on the beach. I made this decision nearly half a year ago and it's about to become reality. In 3 weeks my new life will begin and I was beginning to doubt that I'd made the right decision until I read your article. You wanted to thank you for sharing because now I know for sure that it did make the right decision and I'm excited about reclaiming my life.
I often think about how women were not allowed to have their own credit cards until 1974. It feels like stuff wasn’t really ours or didn’t “count”. It was incredibly freeing for me to get a divorce and take control of my stuff. The condition of my house improved greatly when I divorced! I didn’t need to wait for a man to fix the attic or change a lightbulb without fear of hurting their male fragility. Often important household projects just didn’t get done because some guy was holding up the process, making excuses about money or being such a busy man. Now, I just get things done myself or hired someone to do it for me. I am admittedly still sorting through the stuff I’ve collected over the years, but I’m finding it easier to let go as the children get older. They are growing out of their kid clothes and childhood toys, so we are all passing on hand-me-downs or donating items together. It’s a work in progress but a simpler home environment is my personal goal at the moment, so I really appreciated this piece!
Wow! I am an interior designer unhappy with my projects for same reason!!!! I spend all my money and time on my house, my yard and feel trapped by all the stuff I have and hold onto! This came at the perfect moment in my life!!!
Oh Jennie. You are speaking my language. This piece resonates with me more than anything thing else of yours that I've read. When my ex husband and I were separating, he insisted on staying in the house, which was in my name. He had (has) a LOT of stuff, which I was spending a lot of time managing, so I was happy to go. He was a city trash collector for a time, a noble profession, no shade there. But he brought home SO MUCH STUFF. I begged him to stop. I literally was like, "There is only one thing I need from you in our marriage right now, and that is for you to stop bringing things home from work." When he came home and dumped the Mueller Report on the table and smiled at me, I realized that he did not take me seriously at all. He thought it was funny. I was deeply hurt. I asked him for ONE thing and he wouldn't do it.
Now I gleefully get rid of things that don't serve a purpose for me. I have also become so much more resourceful as a result of my minimalism. I need less stuff because I use the stuff I have. Late stage capitalism is desperate to keep us thinking that we need THINGS to solve our problems when in reality there are often simpler solutions right in front of us.
Why am I not surprised to learn that you have a design background? It makes perfect sense. The way you think and see the world, the way you organize and present thoughts and concepts in such compelling ways. On a personal note, I am facing the fourth move in 12 years and like the previous ones, it will require massive downsizing. That’s a lot to, pardon the expression, unpack. Thanks for this, Jennie! ❤️
Yes, I’ve always said you get rid of 1/3 when you pack and another 1/3 when you unpack. Which I think is why we accumulate so much stuff when we live in one place for a long time (10 years in my current house, and 10 years in the house before that which is only 2 miles away).
This is an amazing article to me, because of the relevance of it all (architect by training here).
What you said about being tethered to So Much Stuff is accurate; having moved several times in the last few years, I think the volume of Things is a point of flexibility that can be easily cause a stress point. Most of us carry things we don't fully need.
For some reason this morning, as I sat down to journal…checking my emails, your very well timed article is here for me to ponder. The one time I felt most free was when I sold my house and had everything in storage, as I was going to move with my fiance, as that plan fell apart, there I was backpack and suitcase asking myself what’s next as we broke up. The feeling of having no home, and the freedom I felt was such a weight lifted. Did I have concerns on what next, yes, but not to the level I thought I would. I also thought about unconventional ways of living my life, travel, as my work was mobile. It was short lived- but it’s come back around in my mind as a new option, to downsize. To have less things and more life.
So timely. My needle and I are still together….. but I’m headed out to full time van life. The premise of our relationship has always been on the road traveling together. And it still will be except I can pick him up from airports or swing by Wisconsin to get him. I used to fantasize of my house burning down (but magically everyone was ok along with all items important to me) so I didn’t have all the stuff to take care of. Surprise! A divorce did the same thing.
I’m down to a few art pieces and some clothes. I should be full time on the road by November 1, in a van as a full time nomad.
I have recently met so many amazing YOUNG vanlife single women. They’re incredible and they love their lives. Maybe the future of women is really freedom from stuff.
I think you are onto something. My 27 yo daughter lives minimally too and she is quite happy, unlike a lot of her friends who feel pressure for consumerism.
After leaving a 31 year marriage and raising 3 kids in a 3k sf home, I am living in a 350sf top floor studio apartment with views and could not be happier. I have everything I need (and want) and nothing I don’t. The amount of peace this tiny apartment brings me is immeasurable.
I love this! ❤️
Similar story. Divorced a little over 2 years ago, from a person I was with since I was 18 (and I am almost 55 now). I've moved into a 490sf apt that is a 15 minute bike ride from work with a sweeping view of my city's skyline that I love. Recently, I've made it a priority to start letting go of more stuff because I have crammed A LOT into my place. Although there are still things in my marital home to purge too, I can feel the power in minimalism calling to me.
How amazing that you're biking to work! I used to do that in Denver, but in Green Bay it's just too cold most of the year (for me; a lot of people do it, as "snow bikes" are a thing here --- I am not that hardcore, lol).
My previous commute to work was 1:45 each eay and consisted of drive to the train; take the train; walk to the office. Getting that time back has been amazing! Philly is way more amenable to cycling to work than Green Bay. lol.
When I lived in SF, I walked 45 minutes to and from work, at Fort Mason, plus a very scenic walk at lunch. Love being outdoors. Now, I too am in a cold climate. I actually got frostbite on a walk last winter 😬.
I bike to work even though the winter in the Twin Cities. The trick is to wear ski gear. Lol
Very similar stories! I married him at 19. Divorced for 3 years now and I’ll be 55 in October!
I divorced 18mo ago and the process of getting rid of 27yrs of marital stuff was daunting! I survived and it actually was therapeutic to have to hold each item and ‘Marie Kondo’ it. I said ‘thank you and good bye’ to 95% of everything and am in a tiny 2 bedroom rental and the freedom (after the initial feelings of loss of getting rid of my curated ‘life’ stuff) is palpable!
SAME!!! It's been two years for me and by far the MOST TRAUMATIC was all the stuff left behind in the house, that I Had to pack up alone because my ex didn't want a bar of it, and when put up boxes with his name on it to take, he would lose it and have a go at me, for 'forcing him to take stuff' like it wasn't his sh*t too. Honestly it's really brought me face to face with the amount of things we consume, I'm in a smaller place now, and it's kind of freeing to have little space. There are things I miss but I could do without and I'm seriously thinking about my future- do I buy a house or a small townhouse and how do i maximise my equity without losing myself to stufff and housing costs.?
Thank you Jenny I honestly think you've touched on a VERY REAL issue and a book could come out of this- perhaps burn the haystack- house and divorce edition??
How interesting to learn more about your background. Thank you for sharing that with us!
Valentine’s Day of 2019, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. We lived in what felt like my dream home, but the kicker was I paid the mortgage and utilities, and I did all the yard work and cleaning, all while working FT and later being diagnosed with T1 diabetes. He worked randomly and did everything he enjoyed. I was completely burnt out.
After our divorce was finalized, I told my mom I wanted to sell everything and travel. I HATED being tied down by possessions and having to work my ass off just to pay bills. It felt like that was the only point to my existence.
My vision has changed, because I became more aligned with what I truly want. I want freedom. I want the time to do whatever I enjoy. Life isn’t meant to spend every waking moment taking care of stuff and maintaining a house and yard.
I finally sold my house last year and moved in with my mom. I’ve used the money I made to spend the last nine months recovering from an abusive marriage and simply trying to survive day to day. I also bought property down the road from her, and I’ll be doing a shed to home conversion. It’ll end up being less than 600sq ft, and will house only the things that make me happy - my pets, books, art supplies, and basic necessities.
No grass to mow, and a natural habitat with native plants and flowers. A few raised garden beds for growing fruits and veggies. Simple living.
I have to get back to work and save up more to move on to the next phase, but once it’s done, it will all be paid for. No mortgage. To me, this is freedom.
I love this for you!!!
Thank you! I really appreciate that!
Way to go, Jennie! I retired 6 years ago and immediately downsized my possessions to what would fit into 2 suitcases. Ten days later, I moved to Mexico and became a full-time nomad doing house/petsitting. Not having a home of my own is so freeing and effortlessly frugal. I love my lifestyle!
#badass!!! This is soooo cool 😎🔥
I live the same way and the only housesitting gigs that drive me crazy are the cluttered ones! Overflowing fridges and crammed closets make me itchy!
I sometimes fantasize about draining my bank and retirement accounts and just driving off. Good for you for doing it!
A fellow Ohioan and college instructor (Kent State) here! I have too much stuff but it’s mostly BOOKS, and I cannot express thoroughly enough my love of being surrounded by books. I have always loved William Morris’s suggestion: “Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” Now my English teacher self is kicking in — it’s not “was comprised of,” but simply “comprised.” Or “was composed of.” Thanks for all you do!
Love this! I've always thought books are the most beautiful way to decorate a home... if they are all books you have read and loved and, whether or not you return to read them again, hold joyful memories. Though after my divorce I did have to leave many of my books behind in my ex house with my ex spouse, I have recently been able to rescue most of them and the book reunion under one roof has been glorious!
My grandparents had a magical house. They built it themselves in 1941 and included a LOT of closets. So many closets. As a child, I would explore the nooks and crannies. One closet held cardboard suitcases packed with love letters my grandfather sent my grandmother during WWII. Another was a cedar closet full of my grandmother's furs and sweaters. The one in the back bedroom held all of my mother's and aunt's formal dresses from high school and college. It was full of STUFF. My mom had less stuff, and my kids did not grow up exploring her home in the same way. Now some of the stuff from my grandparents and my mom have made it down to me and I'm realizing my kids don't have the same sentimental attachment to these things that I do. So, I'm being ruthless in getting rid of things I don't use and they won't want. I'm keeping a few antiques for my own pleasure and memories, but otherwise, my cupboards are bare, so to speak. I purged probably 50% when I divorced and moved out of my marital home, and I continue to purge on a regular basis. It's sad to realize the things that bring back so many memories are leaving my hands, but the memories won't. And it feels SO GOOD to open cabinets and closets and not have things falling on my head!
And you can always take pictures of those things!
and then never look at them again, I find!! But it does help let things go to take some photos.
I love this article Jennie. I am a dedicated minimalist. As is my partner. I am also a college professor. And living a minimalist lifestyle is values driven as well as a way to save money. In his article in the Paris Review , swiss curator Hans ulrich Obrist talks about the GLUT of the twentieth and twenty first centuries ( he cites some theoris and sorry.I can't remember the name right now). Humans before this time lived in states of scarcity. These centuries changed all that. I'm always rather judgy about people who have or live in large dwellings and who don't utilize every single ounce of the space. Or have so much stuff that will eventually end up in a landfill. And think of the energy costs at a time when everyone should be conserving as much energy as possible. Ive often joked that if I had to move at a moment's notice , I could have my apartment packed up in an afternoon. Being a minimalist goes against the norm.When really in my mind, everybody should be a minimalist- small spaces, small cars, less stuff. That's my utopia.
After three moves of cities and now my seventh house move in the last ten years, I certainly understand the need to purge, or to collate possessions, and the benefits thereof. Despite all that, I surprised myself with the house that I chose to buy and move into just a month ago. At 117sm (1250sqf) including a garage on a section just twice that size, I was hesitant to even look at it. But, it was in my price range, and more importantly, exactly where I wanted to live. I'm hoping to own this place forever. I *might* however rent it out and live overseas for a while; time will tell. (It might've been smaller if my daughter didn't intend to live with me while studying)
But, Jennie, your story and those of the other women here echo my own. Happiness isn't found in possessions, although I love colour and pattern and design. It's not found in clutter, but in the space that safety gives you.
It felt so odd going to my ex's house from time to time (to get the kids when they were younger) and seeing the bar stools I'd picked out, the piano stool I'd upholstered, the art I'd framed. I have treasures -art, books, my mother's knitted blankets - but I appreciate a good edit of the things that you own, especially as life shifts and changes.
Although now that all my pot plants are in one spot, I think I might have one more thing to declutter!
Revolutionary Curatorial Philosophy.
https://youtu.be/DQ00EM7-sPw?is=Ri1-uyG5sxcTUzfG
Love this Jennie!
I’m not a minimalist per se, but Marie Kondo’s book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, was so inspiring!
Everything in my home is carefully chosen and curated to create a beautiful look and feel. My precious things are artwork, photos of my kids, and family heirlooms. I also have a thing for down pillows & comforters, everything white crisp and clean.
I have lived with nothing (lost everything in High School fleeing an abusive parent), and lived with very little, doing humanitarian work in an African village (so happy there!). So I feel I’ve gone on this journey, and now I take a lot of care to build beautiful living spaces.
Thanks for sharing! Minimalism can be very healing
I loved Kondo's book too, and I think her ethos is exactly what you're saying: it's not necessarily that there's a "right" amount of stuff; it's that the amount of stuff should be curated and intentional as opposed to just unexamined default --- it sounds like you've done exactly that!
I have recently discovered Myquillyn Smith’s philosophy of “house hushing.” It’s not necessarily minimalism; but rather, curating your home to be exactly what makes you feel peaceful and serene. Sort of a combination of minimalism and Marie Kondo’s method. She has a few books and a new one coming out!
I also wanted to say- I’m in the midst of wrapping up one job and starting a new one. It’s funny how life changes or major events such as jobs, divorce, or surgery can cause us to look at our homes and the systems we live in and how we might change them to better suit our current state of mind. I’m in the midst of a huge purge right now and the last time I did this was after I was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. It’s so freeing to start a new chapter and to also curate your home at the same time. Empowering.
Yes! That’s exactly what I meant 🥰 you said it better than I did.
So, now I have a little cottage in France, and it’s been lovely starting from scratch and only having beautiful, intentional things. It’s so peaceful.
Btw You’re invited if you’d like to visit Jennie! I’d be honoured to have you (and Pat, of course!)
My goal for the house is to invite women artists (writers too!) for free Artists-In-Residence programs. I’m still finishing the renovation, but I can’t wait to start hosting ☺️
Anyhoo feel free to reach out if you’re interested in being on our invite list! 🏡
I’d love to be on the invite list! I’m an artist and filmmaker!
Exactly! It's not about minimalism or maximalism. It's about rightism - having things that bring you joy. I have a crafts and woodworking equipment that take up a lot of space, and would definitely not fit into a one-bedroom apartment, but they bring me joy.
Agree about the feather pillows! Some things are non-negotiables, even after the purge(s)!
I am about to leave from a gigantic home the pool and the yard and a basement full of 60 years of hoarded stuff. My stuff, my ex's stuff, my brother's stuff and then my deceased parents hoard. I'm headed to a relatively compact home with no property, no plants, no pool and most importantly no basement. I am doing this in hopes a simplifying my life and listening my mental load so I can do things like learn how to sew, read books and go for long walks on the beach. I made this decision nearly half a year ago and it's about to become reality. In 3 weeks my new life will begin and I was beginning to doubt that I'd made the right decision until I read your article. You wanted to thank you for sharing because now I know for sure that it did make the right decision and I'm excited about reclaiming my life.
I’m so excited for you! You’ve completely changed your life in six months. Amazing. There’s so much life ahead of you. 🩷
I often think about how women were not allowed to have their own credit cards until 1974. It feels like stuff wasn’t really ours or didn’t “count”. It was incredibly freeing for me to get a divorce and take control of my stuff. The condition of my house improved greatly when I divorced! I didn’t need to wait for a man to fix the attic or change a lightbulb without fear of hurting their male fragility. Often important household projects just didn’t get done because some guy was holding up the process, making excuses about money or being such a busy man. Now, I just get things done myself or hired someone to do it for me. I am admittedly still sorting through the stuff I’ve collected over the years, but I’m finding it easier to let go as the children get older. They are growing out of their kid clothes and childhood toys, so we are all passing on hand-me-downs or donating items together. It’s a work in progress but a simpler home environment is my personal goal at the moment, so I really appreciated this piece!
Wow! I am an interior designer unhappy with my projects for same reason!!!! I spend all my money and time on my house, my yard and feel trapped by all the stuff I have and hold onto! This came at the perfect moment in my life!!!
Yay! I'm happy to help! ❤️
Oh Jennie. You are speaking my language. This piece resonates with me more than anything thing else of yours that I've read. When my ex husband and I were separating, he insisted on staying in the house, which was in my name. He had (has) a LOT of stuff, which I was spending a lot of time managing, so I was happy to go. He was a city trash collector for a time, a noble profession, no shade there. But he brought home SO MUCH STUFF. I begged him to stop. I literally was like, "There is only one thing I need from you in our marriage right now, and that is for you to stop bringing things home from work." When he came home and dumped the Mueller Report on the table and smiled at me, I realized that he did not take me seriously at all. He thought it was funny. I was deeply hurt. I asked him for ONE thing and he wouldn't do it.
Now I gleefully get rid of things that don't serve a purpose for me. I have also become so much more resourceful as a result of my minimalism. I need less stuff because I use the stuff I have. Late stage capitalism is desperate to keep us thinking that we need THINGS to solve our problems when in reality there are often simpler solutions right in front of us.
Why am I not surprised to learn that you have a design background? It makes perfect sense. The way you think and see the world, the way you organize and present thoughts and concepts in such compelling ways. On a personal note, I am facing the fourth move in 12 years and like the previous ones, it will require massive downsizing. That’s a lot to, pardon the expression, unpack. Thanks for this, Jennie! ❤️
Oh man, good luck! One thing about moving frequently is that it does encourage one to unload!
Yes, I’ve always said you get rid of 1/3 when you pack and another 1/3 when you unpack. Which I think is why we accumulate so much stuff when we live in one place for a long time (10 years in my current house, and 10 years in the house before that which is only 2 miles away).
This is an amazing article to me, because of the relevance of it all (architect by training here).
What you said about being tethered to So Much Stuff is accurate; having moved several times in the last few years, I think the volume of Things is a point of flexibility that can be easily cause a stress point. Most of us carry things we don't fully need.
For some reason this morning, as I sat down to journal…checking my emails, your very well timed article is here for me to ponder. The one time I felt most free was when I sold my house and had everything in storage, as I was going to move with my fiance, as that plan fell apart, there I was backpack and suitcase asking myself what’s next as we broke up. The feeling of having no home, and the freedom I felt was such a weight lifted. Did I have concerns on what next, yes, but not to the level I thought I would. I also thought about unconventional ways of living my life, travel, as my work was mobile. It was short lived- but it’s come back around in my mind as a new option, to downsize. To have less things and more life.
So timely. My needle and I are still together….. but I’m headed out to full time van life. The premise of our relationship has always been on the road traveling together. And it still will be except I can pick him up from airports or swing by Wisconsin to get him. I used to fantasize of my house burning down (but magically everyone was ok along with all items important to me) so I didn’t have all the stuff to take care of. Surprise! A divorce did the same thing.
I’m down to a few art pieces and some clothes. I should be full time on the road by November 1, in a van as a full time nomad.
I have recently met so many amazing YOUNG vanlife single women. They’re incredible and they love their lives. Maybe the future of women is really freedom from stuff.
I think you are onto something. My 27 yo daughter lives minimally too and she is quite happy, unlike a lot of her friends who feel pressure for consumerism.