Yes, yes, YES! I have often said that opening with "Hey beautiful!" or "You have a beautiful smile!" is the online version of street harassment.
It bums me out SO HARD that so many women excuse and indulge this behavior. I have had to leave a few widow's and singles groups because too many of the members refuse to see this for what it is and being labeled "picky" or "snobby" when I tried to explain it.
I’ve left the majority of widow/widower groups I’m in. I find the men interacting there to falsely put themselves in a position of authority with many widows. I think they believe they are filling a void and “helping” poor widows by telling them what they should do and how they should act. It is so toxic! I didn’t bother to explain. Just B2B the whole group!!
I've had similar observations of many women I know. It seems that many women have very little self-esteem and are desperate for male attention. Women who are healthier are labeled "picky" or "snobby." I've heard that aimed at me.
The only difference between the guy saying "hey" to you in the grocery store, and the guy doing it on the apps, is that the guy in the grocery store is not doing it to 20 women simultaneously, like a fisherman chumming the water with arsenic.
I have needed this technique in my arsenal my whole life, and not just for dating. You have no idea how grateful I am that you are sharing this. I admit, I tend to be willing to teach a guy how to treat me sometimes because if I don’t I feel they’ll never learn and women will always suffer, but I now reserve this for someone I’ve already gotten to know a little in person. If a guy I’ve never met is behaving like a fool out the gate, B2B, baby. ✌🏻
So tired of the 'great smile' complement. Response is always, 'Thanks, it's my grandfather's. There's a lot of us with his smile in the world'. Can they try something else? I just wait and then it's crickets. I recently had a man try to chat me up and it just because a stream of twitter links about music that he's interested in from artists years past. Do you have anything recent? Gentle comments about it, and sharing current artists I'm listening to and it's no response. Like dude, why are we doing this? Are you even looking at the ones I send? How is this like pulling teeth? And really, I'm getting republican vibes from those twitter links (I refuse to call it X). I'm at the point that if someone is telling me they are conservative, but vote both sides, I want to B2B. No, you better tell me that you haven't voted Republican since 2016 in state and national elections. I don't have time for a man that is complicit in overlooking the disrepect to the govt, military and women. I refuse to be another receptacle for a man.
All great advice … I’m someone who’s given up on dating apps, as I’ve experienced every scenario you’ve described, and some which are far, far worse. I’d also like to point out that ‘odd behaviour’ is not the sole demise of men on these apps 😳🙈😂
Yes, yes, YES! I have often said that opening with "Hey beautiful!" or "You have a beautiful smile!" is the online version of street harassment.
It bums me out SO HARD that so many women excuse and indulge this behavior. I have had to leave a few widow's and singles groups because too many of the members refuse to see this for what it is and being labeled "picky" or "snobby" when I tried to explain it.
I’ve left the majority of widow/widower groups I’m in. I find the men interacting there to falsely put themselves in a position of authority with many widows. I think they believe they are filling a void and “helping” poor widows by telling them what they should do and how they should act. It is so toxic! I didn’t bother to explain. Just B2B the whole group!!
Smart move! Those dudes and the women who enable and excuse the poor behavior. I just couldn't anymore either.
I've had similar observations of many women I know. It seems that many women have very little self-esteem and are desperate for male attention. Women who are healthier are labeled "picky" or "snobby." I've heard that aimed at me.
The only difference between the guy saying "hey" to you in the grocery store, and the guy doing it on the apps, is that the guy in the grocery store is not doing it to 20 women simultaneously, like a fisherman chumming the water with arsenic.
I have needed this technique in my arsenal my whole life, and not just for dating. You have no idea how grateful I am that you are sharing this. I admit, I tend to be willing to teach a guy how to treat me sometimes because if I don’t I feel they’ll never learn and women will always suffer, but I now reserve this for someone I’ve already gotten to know a little in person. If a guy I’ve never met is behaving like a fool out the gate, B2B, baby. ✌🏻
So tired of the 'great smile' complement. Response is always, 'Thanks, it's my grandfather's. There's a lot of us with his smile in the world'. Can they try something else? I just wait and then it's crickets. I recently had a man try to chat me up and it just because a stream of twitter links about music that he's interested in from artists years past. Do you have anything recent? Gentle comments about it, and sharing current artists I'm listening to and it's no response. Like dude, why are we doing this? Are you even looking at the ones I send? How is this like pulling teeth? And really, I'm getting republican vibes from those twitter links (I refuse to call it X). I'm at the point that if someone is telling me they are conservative, but vote both sides, I want to B2B. No, you better tell me that you haven't voted Republican since 2016 in state and national elections. I don't have time for a man that is complicit in overlooking the disrepect to the govt, military and women. I refuse to be another receptacle for a man.
Would I respond to a catcall in the street? I would not - or I would scowl and walk away. Same thing!
I think about this all the time. I want to say it to at least half of the men! “Would you do this in real life?!??” Great article!
All great advice … I’m someone who’s given up on dating apps, as I’ve experienced every scenario you’ve described, and some which are far, far worse. I’d also like to point out that ‘odd behaviour’ is not the sole demise of men on these apps 😳🙈😂
Brilliant!!