I had been low-key dating like this since I started, but having the academic research and analysis has been so helpful to put words to what I felt instinctively.
My calling out one of the so-called dating experts you describe is what got me kicked out of a Facebook community that really meant a lot to me that was *supposed* to be feminist.
I'd do it again.
The "expert" told us to Always Be Flirting, and she defined flirting as showing interest whether you had any or not.
Um, yeah. That's called lying, and it's rude, unkind, and potentially dangerous.
She also said she flirted with a man at a bar, who turned out to be married, but he introduced her to a single friend of his, so yay!
The real kicker was she claimed that her clients were happy to go on bad dates because it was good practice.
It bums me out so hard that people are making money off from women who believe their BS (although I have to question how many of them are actually making money...)
It's not you, it's them. You are fine. More than fine, you are amazing!
I think I know which so-called dating expert you are referring to. Actually there are two of them who are prominent on Facebook who tell women that they should flirt whether they are interested in a man or not, and that even a bad date is a good practice. I still read the posts sporadically because it gives me helpful perspective - sadly, my growing realization of what so many women will tolerate. In one of these Facebook groups that are dedicated to helping older women find love , I have had my comments deleted on three different occasions ! and I have been threatened with being removed from the group. I won't mention any names here but this well-known dating coach is so against man-bashing that you are not allowed to speak honestly about your experiences on her Facebook group. If you have two consecutive boyfriends or husbands who are unfaithful, you are allowed to question yourself and say "why do I keep meeting these guys, what is wrong with me?" But if you were to say "why is it that so many men can't keep their pants on?" you will get your wrist slapped by this dating coach
I think these dating coaches with their Facebook groups bend over backwards to present an optimistic picture of the average man because if they are honest about what a lot of men are like, it will hurt their business. Women have to be inordinately optimistic in order to want to hire a dating coach
You know? Your method has been helping me A LOT, not only with dating, but with all my relationships.
I have become a very close observer of peoples words, rhythms and silences.
They all have a meaning!!
What made me a bit upset is to realize that if I had known about you and your work, I would not have dated, probably 95% of the men I've ever dated throughout my life. Maybe I would have found a sweet and loving needle by now!
But, better late than never, and I'm very very grateful for all your efforts. You have transformed my perception of this part of my life, which has so much impact on the rest of it!
I hope you can turn this into a self-sustaining project so you can keep helping many many people around the world!! Thank you so much Jennie ❤️️❤️️❤️️
Hi. I've been here a while and read through all the guides, etc. now I think, watched vids, and I don't know if I missed it, but I'm not seeing a discussion of the actual apps themselves..are any better than others? And "to pay or not to pay?" Do I need a budget to find a needle?
Hi, I am really lost here. I joined the Facebook group and then followed on instagram and then came here. I’m in a perpetual loop of trying to find the first “guide,” so to speak. I don’t know what any of the terms mean and I can’t find any of the articles that everyone in the Facebook group (and in these articles) refers to. Is it a paid thing? Can someone help me? Every time I’ve been pointed in a direction it’s the same endless loop and I can’t find anything besides posts and articles referring to some secret information/ dictionary/ guide that I can’t find. Please help 😅
If you ladies have found the matches (literal) to burn the haystack to find sought after needles…I hate to mention it but a needles is a needle only in the eye of some women.
NEEDLE (noun, rare and very sought after individual) eg: an 82-year-old widower (married 55 years) who lost his wife in 2020 to Alzheimer’s and has used dating apps for only about a year. It’s no wonder dating apps are becoming a thing of the past. Women say on their profiles are interested in coffee,walks, until you actually ask them if you would like to go for coffee or a walk or some other interaction face-to-face. The response is ZIP, Zilch, NADA. Why even use the app? I put in the app a preference for a 50mile radius (I live in Portland, Oregon) and get picks from as far away as Texas.
It’s worse than a mail order date. Dating becomes a fantasy because there is never an opportunity to judge a person on their own personality.
I spent my entire life to this point taking care of others. I enjoy being able to make other people happy…if I can make a problem go away for someone stressing about something keeping them from moving forward; with just a LITTLE TLC that seems like a no brainer. I , speaking for all needles, would relish a bonfire to clear the air of useless drudgery. Life is too short to waste time and if a little smoke gets in your eyes so be it.
I had been low-key dating like this since I started, but having the academic research and analysis has been so helpful to put words to what I felt instinctively.
My calling out one of the so-called dating experts you describe is what got me kicked out of a Facebook community that really meant a lot to me that was *supposed* to be feminist.
I'd do it again.
The "expert" told us to Always Be Flirting, and she defined flirting as showing interest whether you had any or not.
Um, yeah. That's called lying, and it's rude, unkind, and potentially dangerous.
She also said she flirted with a man at a bar, who turned out to be married, but he introduced her to a single friend of his, so yay!
The real kicker was she claimed that her clients were happy to go on bad dates because it was good practice.
It bums me out so hard that people are making money off from women who believe their BS (although I have to question how many of them are actually making money...)
It's not you, it's them. You are fine. More than fine, you are amazing!
I think I know which so-called dating expert you are referring to. Actually there are two of them who are prominent on Facebook who tell women that they should flirt whether they are interested in a man or not, and that even a bad date is a good practice. I still read the posts sporadically because it gives me helpful perspective - sadly, my growing realization of what so many women will tolerate. In one of these Facebook groups that are dedicated to helping older women find love , I have had my comments deleted on three different occasions ! and I have been threatened with being removed from the group. I won't mention any names here but this well-known dating coach is so against man-bashing that you are not allowed to speak honestly about your experiences on her Facebook group. If you have two consecutive boyfriends or husbands who are unfaithful, you are allowed to question yourself and say "why do I keep meeting these guys, what is wrong with me?" But if you were to say "why is it that so many men can't keep their pants on?" you will get your wrist slapped by this dating coach
I think these dating coaches with their Facebook groups bend over backwards to present an optimistic picture of the average man because if they are honest about what a lot of men are like, it will hurt their business. Women have to be inordinately optimistic in order to want to hire a dating coach
You know? Your method has been helping me A LOT, not only with dating, but with all my relationships.
I have become a very close observer of peoples words, rhythms and silences.
They all have a meaning!!
What made me a bit upset is to realize that if I had known about you and your work, I would not have dated, probably 95% of the men I've ever dated throughout my life. Maybe I would have found a sweet and loving needle by now!
But, better late than never, and I'm very very grateful for all your efforts. You have transformed my perception of this part of my life, which has so much impact on the rest of it!
I hope you can turn this into a self-sustaining project so you can keep helping many many people around the world!! Thank you so much Jennie ❤️️❤️️❤️️
Hi. I've been here a while and read through all the guides, etc. now I think, watched vids, and I don't know if I missed it, but I'm not seeing a discussion of the actual apps themselves..are any better than others? And "to pay or not to pay?" Do I need a budget to find a needle?
Hi, I am really lost here. I joined the Facebook group and then followed on instagram and then came here. I’m in a perpetual loop of trying to find the first “guide,” so to speak. I don’t know what any of the terms mean and I can’t find any of the articles that everyone in the Facebook group (and in these articles) refers to. Is it a paid thing? Can someone help me? Every time I’ve been pointed in a direction it’s the same endless loop and I can’t find anything besides posts and articles referring to some secret information/ dictionary/ guide that I can’t find. Please help 😅
If you ladies have found the matches (literal) to burn the haystack to find sought after needles…I hate to mention it but a needles is a needle only in the eye of some women.
NEEDLE (noun, rare and very sought after individual) eg: an 82-year-old widower (married 55 years) who lost his wife in 2020 to Alzheimer’s and has used dating apps for only about a year. It’s no wonder dating apps are becoming a thing of the past. Women say on their profiles are interested in coffee,walks, until you actually ask them if you would like to go for coffee or a walk or some other interaction face-to-face. The response is ZIP, Zilch, NADA. Why even use the app? I put in the app a preference for a 50mile radius (I live in Portland, Oregon) and get picks from as far away as Texas.
It’s worse than a mail order date. Dating becomes a fantasy because there is never an opportunity to judge a person on their own personality.
I spent my entire life to this point taking care of others. I enjoy being able to make other people happy…if I can make a problem go away for someone stressing about something keeping them from moving forward; with just a LITTLE TLC that seems like a no brainer. I , speaking for all needles, would relish a bonfire to clear the air of useless drudgery. Life is too short to waste time and if a little smoke gets in your eyes so be it.