I asked one scammer who the professional photographer was who took his photos. He blocked me immediately. They’re often ridiculously handsome and their photos are too good to be true. Plus they often work on an oil rig in the North Sea. Inconvenient for dating
I usually ask for a video call right away when their profile is suspect, which cues the excuses early. Something like. . .I am in the military and currently in Yemen (or Syria) or I am a doctor working for the UN in Ukraine. Followed by, it isn't safe for me to video call in this app and we must move to Telegram/Signal/WhatsApp. B2B.
As a woman dating men who has been on the apps in my late 30s to early 40s, who lives in Wisconsin and spends time in northern Wisconsin and has been on the apps while in northern Wisconsin, let me just say a hearty L.O.L. 😂
Wisconsin is in the Northern middle of the U.S., often referred to as the “Midwest, even though it really should be called “UpperMid”. Wisconsin is primarily known for its dairy farms, beer production, deer hunting, and particularly egregious politicians. Northern Wisconsin in particular is what you might refer to in Australia as “woop woop”, and the chances of finding a “middle-aged man” that looks like that picture above are about as good as the chances of DJT locating his own ass with both hands.
Yes, I used a reverse photo look up and the picture was from an actor in South America. Jennie, makes a good point about knowing what a typical male looks like in your area. The picture should be consistent with the demographic data and who you see at the grocery store.
I've done the same photo look up. I have had guys put up pictures of dead actors, actors on soap operas, one was an actor on General Hospital, and guys that clearly look 20 say that they are 60. One pretended to be an officer in the coast guard. The name was real but not the face.
It’s so out of control with the AI. This esp is confusing because real guys are also using bizarro world filters, AI enhancement etc sometimes to the point of cartoon character metaverse avatars. I don’t understand this, have not seen a BHDM analysis of the behavior but it’s a no thank you from me. The most I got out of one guy, who said he was employed in the space but did not have his own cartoon photo, was: they like seeing themselves this way. Okayyy but I do not 😂
Oh my, the always and forever dreamy photos of scammers. I'm glad that you posted this. I am so good at spotting scammers now. I've been on apps for about a year, and at 71 I'm learning so much. My first scammer wanted to isolate me and suggested that I not tell anyone else that we were communicating. I said too late, I've told all of my friends. Every week, there are another one or two . Today, I got rid of one so quickly when he told me that he was new on Bumble. He asked how long I was on and how I liked it if I dated anyone. Yes, I'm having a fun and wonderful time, and yes, I've dated a few men. Lies, who finds it wonderful and fun? Anyway, I told him to beware of scammers himself. He asked how I knew that they were scammers. I did tell him that the scammers have the same look and story and that women are on to them. I also told him that I am intelligent and no one would ever get my money.
He quickly unmatched us and poof, just like magic, he was gone. Just like magic.
Yes - good tips! I never use WhatsApp for this reason and I always insist on meeting right away (when I know it’s a fake account). That sends them running!
Or I will give advice on how to spot a fake account haha.
Jenny - are you dating someone - may I ask? Why aren’t you on the apps? Over it?
I was on the apps when I started this project (and I met my former partner on Match--we remain friends--google the phrase "bitchy profile" and my name and you'll get the full story, lol). About a year ago, this project took off in a way I never in a million years would've anticipated. I realized I had time EITHER to date, OR to conduct the project, and I opted to quit dating and focus full time on work. We shall see what comes next for me . . . I truly can't predict it right now, there's just a lot going on (I've also now created a situation for myself in which it might be too difficult -- the last two men I met on apps before I quit dating were not AT ALL comfortable with my increasing public profile. I think they were afraid I'd write about them.) 🤷♀️
Yes I remember your story from before! I am excited for you - well done!! Your work is so important and has been really helpful for me and sooooo many.
I am taking a bit of a break from the apps myself - navigating perimenopause and realizing I just cannot with men right now. Haha.
Love them so much but I need to get my hormones leveled out first. lol.
Thank you for your work and support! You are a rock star! Can’t wait to see what’s next!
I'm constantly flabbergasted at the signs that people don't see! FB memories reminded me of an exchange in a widow's group I'm no longer in.
Him: What are your perceptions on an ideal relationship?
Her: I already had the perfect relationship! Starting over again has been so hard. Sorry to do this, but I'm leaving for work. Can I text you after my interview?
Him: Me too. It's hard trying all over again, but I really need a woman at home and in my life. I travel a lot and need a good woman with a good heart that can manage my home perfectly and very romantic.
Some people got it, but just as many told me they didn't see anything amiss, either in his word choices -or the content. They defended him and (tried) to make me feel like I was picking apart a good man.
And now that I'm better versed in BDHM, I also note that she was apologizing to a stranger for having a life/commitments other than him.
I left that group because there was a LOT of shizz like this.
>They defended him and (tried) to make me feel like I was picking apart a good man.
This grinds my gears so much "give him a (second) chance" "you're being too harsh" - it's centering men so much and women don't realize they're doing it. It's this feedback from other women that makes some women stay in bad/abusive relationships or they don't get the support they need. Patriarchy is a helluva drug. 😞
This makes me so sad, and a perfect illustration of why scammers are so successful. She asks a direct question and the response reads like cut-and-paste scam ”conversation” from another country. Not to mention, even if he wasn’t a scammer, the response is horrible! “ I travel a lot and need a good woman with a good heart that can manage my home perfectly and very romantic.” This is man who wants a maid and a sex-worker, not a partner. What are these women thinking? D:
Jennie, I have a warning story about online dating. I started doing it again for the last week thinking if it's Facebook, I know how to use it and I'm good at blocking now so it will be OK. And I blocked a ton of guys, talked with about 5. My phone number is not on my profile and I did not share my profile with anyone. I did unfortunately have my number out on some business pages I have. This morning I got a call attempt, "recorded 3 way call" from a prison in Florida. I have taken down my profile, obviously blocked that number, and gotten my number off of my business pages.
Jennie: I’m unable to send questions on FB. So, sending here. What is your suggestion on sending hug GIFs while chatting in the App and hugging and holding hands on first dates. I’m from India.
Ryan from Hayward who winters in Dubai lol
Lol, yes. As all Wisconsin men do 😂
Lol 🤣
I asked one scammer who the professional photographer was who took his photos. He blocked me immediately. They’re often ridiculously handsome and their photos are too good to be true. Plus they often work on an oil rig in the North Sea. Inconvenient for dating
I usually ask for a video call right away when their profile is suspect, which cues the excuses early. Something like. . .I am in the military and currently in Yemen (or Syria) or I am a doctor working for the UN in Ukraine. Followed by, it isn't safe for me to video call in this app and we must move to Telegram/Signal/WhatsApp. B2B.
omg, I had two already who were oil rig workers! At the time I thought it was weird, but now I know
They're almost always oil rig workers, pilots, doctors, or military.
Here in Poland, where I live, they usually came to help their uncles to run their businesses 😂
Or loggers. Or even "lumberjacks."
And anyone who works in crypto or bitcoin.
THIS. And apparently they ask you to invest in Bitcoin - it's called the pig butchering scam
I've had DM's from some who claimed to be military, and always based in New Jersey for some reason.
As a woman dating men who has been on the apps in my late 30s to early 40s, who lives in Wisconsin and spends time in northern Wisconsin and has been on the apps while in northern Wisconsin, let me just say a hearty L.O.L. 😂
Right??? 😂
As a woman from Australia, who doesn't even know where Wisconsin is without looking at a map of US states, please explain?
Wisconsin is in the Northern middle of the U.S., often referred to as the “Midwest, even though it really should be called “UpperMid”. Wisconsin is primarily known for its dairy farms, beer production, deer hunting, and particularly egregious politicians. Northern Wisconsin in particular is what you might refer to in Australia as “woop woop”, and the chances of finding a “middle-aged man” that looks like that picture above are about as good as the chances of DJT locating his own ass with both hands.
Thanks, Miz. So you'd expect to see white, redneck farmers instead?
Our rural areas are sometimes a weird mix of those and ethnic workers on holiday visas or new immigrants.
But they certainly wouldn't have an artistically blurred background of war-torn rubble!
Yes, primarily farmers, factory workers, and other laborers.
Yes, I used a reverse photo look up and the picture was from an actor in South America. Jennie, makes a good point about knowing what a typical male looks like in your area. The picture should be consistent with the demographic data and who you see at the grocery store.
I've done the same photo look up. I have had guys put up pictures of dead actors, actors on soap operas, one was an actor on General Hospital, and guys that clearly look 20 say that they are 60. One pretended to be an officer in the coast guard. The name was real but not the face.
It’s so out of control with the AI. This esp is confusing because real guys are also using bizarro world filters, AI enhancement etc sometimes to the point of cartoon character metaverse avatars. I don’t understand this, have not seen a BHDM analysis of the behavior but it’s a no thank you from me. The most I got out of one guy, who said he was employed in the space but did not have his own cartoon photo, was: they like seeing themselves this way. Okayyy but I do not 😂
Oh my, the always and forever dreamy photos of scammers. I'm glad that you posted this. I am so good at spotting scammers now. I've been on apps for about a year, and at 71 I'm learning so much. My first scammer wanted to isolate me and suggested that I not tell anyone else that we were communicating. I said too late, I've told all of my friends. Every week, there are another one or two . Today, I got rid of one so quickly when he told me that he was new on Bumble. He asked how long I was on and how I liked it if I dated anyone. Yes, I'm having a fun and wonderful time, and yes, I've dated a few men. Lies, who finds it wonderful and fun? Anyway, I told him to beware of scammers himself. He asked how I knew that they were scammers. I did tell him that the scammers have the same look and story and that women are on to them. I also told him that I am intelligent and no one would ever get my money.
He quickly unmatched us and poof, just like magic, he was gone. Just like magic.
>I said too late, I've told all of my friends.
Lolol I love it. I like your style. 😎
We were on a video call at the time and his face just fell when I said that. Hahaha
Yes - good tips! I never use WhatsApp for this reason and I always insist on meeting right away (when I know it’s a fake account). That sends them running!
Or I will give advice on how to spot a fake account haha.
Jenny - are you dating someone - may I ask? Why aren’t you on the apps? Over it?
I was on the apps when I started this project (and I met my former partner on Match--we remain friends--google the phrase "bitchy profile" and my name and you'll get the full story, lol). About a year ago, this project took off in a way I never in a million years would've anticipated. I realized I had time EITHER to date, OR to conduct the project, and I opted to quit dating and focus full time on work. We shall see what comes next for me . . . I truly can't predict it right now, there's just a lot going on (I've also now created a situation for myself in which it might be too difficult -- the last two men I met on apps before I quit dating were not AT ALL comfortable with my increasing public profile. I think they were afraid I'd write about them.) 🤷♀️
Yes I remember your story from before! I am excited for you - well done!! Your work is so important and has been really helpful for me and sooooo many.
I am taking a bit of a break from the apps myself - navigating perimenopause and realizing I just cannot with men right now. Haha.
Love them so much but I need to get my hormones leveled out first. lol.
Thank you for your work and support! You are a rock star! Can’t wait to see what’s next!
I don't think we talk enough about the fact that the primary rootwords of menopause are "men" and "pause." LOL.
Truly! So funny. And accurate. Mama needs a pause from men - oh my!
Scammers are always:
An engineer, usually on an oil rig, always outside of the US.
A widower who is ready to love again
They will say they are from your city but get town names and Slang incorrect. Being from Boston, our slang is especially specific.
I'm constantly flabbergasted at the signs that people don't see! FB memories reminded me of an exchange in a widow's group I'm no longer in.
Him: What are your perceptions on an ideal relationship?
Her: I already had the perfect relationship! Starting over again has been so hard. Sorry to do this, but I'm leaving for work. Can I text you after my interview?
Him: Me too. It's hard trying all over again, but I really need a woman at home and in my life. I travel a lot and need a good woman with a good heart that can manage my home perfectly and very romantic.
Some people got it, but just as many told me they didn't see anything amiss, either in his word choices -or the content. They defended him and (tried) to make me feel like I was picking apart a good man.
And now that I'm better versed in BDHM, I also note that she was apologizing to a stranger for having a life/commitments other than him.
I left that group because there was a LOT of shizz like this.
>They defended him and (tried) to make me feel like I was picking apart a good man.
This grinds my gears so much "give him a (second) chance" "you're being too harsh" - it's centering men so much and women don't realize they're doing it. It's this feedback from other women that makes some women stay in bad/abusive relationships or they don't get the support they need. Patriarchy is a helluva drug. 😞
TRUTH!!
This makes me so sad, and a perfect illustration of why scammers are so successful. She asks a direct question and the response reads like cut-and-paste scam ”conversation” from another country. Not to mention, even if he wasn’t a scammer, the response is horrible! “ I travel a lot and need a good woman with a good heart that can manage my home perfectly and very romantic.” This is man who wants a maid and a sex-worker, not a partner. What are these women thinking? D:
Right? It made me sad, and then it made me mad when they weren't listening to me. Fine, get yourself scammed!
FELICES Y GRACIAS
JENNIE JOVEN FELICES
FELICES
Jennie, I have a warning story about online dating. I started doing it again for the last week thinking if it's Facebook, I know how to use it and I'm good at blocking now so it will be OK. And I blocked a ton of guys, talked with about 5. My phone number is not on my profile and I did not share my profile with anyone. I did unfortunately have my number out on some business pages I have. This morning I got a call attempt, "recorded 3 way call" from a prison in Florida. I have taken down my profile, obviously blocked that number, and gotten my number off of my business pages.
If "Ryan" wore a flannel shirt he might be more convincing!
I usually report them - on most apps this automatically blocks them and also helps protect other women.
Jennie: I’m unable to send questions on FB. So, sending here. What is your suggestion on sending hug GIFs while chatting in the App and hugging and holding hands on first dates. I’m from India.